Return to The Wiccans Grim: Redlocks and the Three Valley Girls

The Wiccans Grim

Author: Trista
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters are property of Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy. Based on Hansel and Gretel.

Willow and Tara walked for what seemed like years when they came upon a small cottage.

"Look," Tara said, "the house is made entirely out of pizza, let's eat!"

They ate and ate and ate, until someone said, "Nibble, nibble, like a mouse, who the bloody hell's nipping at my house?"

"I guess that's us," Tara said.

"Well why don't you two come in, I've more pizza inside; and besides who the hell makes houses out of pizza?"

"Um, you," Willow said.

"Oh right. Anyway, just come inside."

Willow and Tara stepped inside to see none other then Faith.

"Look what you did to my padn I had it all five by five... oh well," Faith said.

"We're sorry," Tara said. "We won't be a big pain, because we must leave tomorrow morning."

The next morning Willow and Tara found themselves caught in a giant birdcage.

"Why a birdcage?" Willow asked Faith.

"Ask the narrator," Faith said.

Because it's a fairy tale, the narrator said.

"What are you going to do to us, Faith?" Willow asked.

"Simple, I'm going to make you fall in love with me Willow!" Faith cackled.

"How can you be so be evil?" Willow said?

"You've obviously never seen season three," Faith said. "Now to tell you how I'll make you love me, I'm going to hypnotize you!"

"Then what?" Tara asked. "Are you going to pull a bunny out of your hat?"

"Yeah," Willow said, "how you going to do it? You're not a wiccan!"

"Bring in the watcher!" Faith yelled. Two boys dragged out a man in chains on his wrists.

"Wesley," Willow said, "What are you doing here, and I've just noticed that their are a lot of boys in this place."

"Yes," Faith said, "I told them if thay worked for me I'd have sex with, them so there!"

"I always knew that you were a slut!" Willow said.

"Well," Wesley said, "one day I was on my way to Wolfram and Hart when Faith came out of nowhere and dragged me over here."

"Less talk, more hypnotizing!" Faith said.

So when Wesley was trying to hypnotize Willow, all she could do was laugh at him.

"Ha ha, Faith, did you think that it would work?" Wesley said.

"Yeah," Willow said, "not only are you a slut, you're stupid!"

"Fine!" Faith said. "I'll let you guys go, if you can answer this riddle.

"Bring it on," Tara said.

"I don't know, Faith, I think being evil is your tru calling," Willow said.

"Are you going to answer the riddle or just talk about past movies and shows I've been in?" Faith said.

"What's the frickin' riddle," Willow said. "God, don't have a slayer fit!"

"The riddle is, what's Anya's full name?"

"Anya Christina Emmanuella Jenkins!" Tara said.

"How'd you know that?" Faith said.

"I skipped ahead a few seasons," Tara said.

So Willow, Tara, and Wesley were all set free. A while later Wesley had to leave because he had to go to the one-hundredth annual watchers picnic. "We all brag about how well our slayers are doing, and such," Wesley explained, "and we also train the potentials in case the Second Evil shows up, 'cause you know what comes after the First Evil."

"The Second Evil," Willow said.

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