"But when they're playing your song on the jukebox in Hell, you might as well dance."
Willow and Buffy (Willow's best friend) sat at a coffee shop in L.A., Buffy going on and on about everything from fashion to food. She was trying to talk about anything she could think of to get Willow's mind off of whatever it was on. The red head had been distant lately. Depressed even. Moping around the apartment the two shared and sleeping all the time. It was like invisible rain clouds loomed over her head, threatening to burst at any moment. Thered head didn't seem to be respondent to anything Buffy said, so she cut to the chase.
"What's going on Willow? You've become a completely different person in these past two months."
Willow sat with her eyes glued to her coffee mug. She picked up the cream and poured in a couple of spoonfuls.
"Did something happen?"
Green eyes watched the cold white cream swirl with the hot black liquid.
"No." Came the response as she picked up her spoon and stirred the coffee.
"Then what is it Will?"
Willow took a deep breath and looked at Buffy. "Are you afraid of dying?" She paused then continued, "Not so much as dying but... not living..." Puzzled Buffy asked "What do you mean?" Willow took a long slow drink from her mug considering how to answer the question.
She knew her friends were just trying to help, but the helpfulness was starting to get on her nerves. So she was a little under the weather. What's wrong with that?
"I dunno Buffy, I mean, I'm just existing. I'm a shell... It's like... like everything inside me shut off... I'm just not happy..." Buffy stared at Willow intensely, willing her to continue.
Willow sighed when she realized the brunette wanted her to continue, "Someone totaled my car, my family can't stand be because of the fact I'm gay, I have no social life, besides you and Xander I have no friends, I have a job where I get no respect for the work I do..." The redhead looked back down at her coffee as she played with the spoon protruding from the dark liquid. "Do you want me to go on?"
"You just hit a rough patch in life right now Will. It'll get better. It has to I swear." She paused and watched Willow play with the spoon then continued. "You need sun and rain to make a rainbow." Willow looked at her and said "When did you turn into Dr. Phil?" Buffy laughed and Willow forced a smile to her lips.
"What about that girl that was chasing you, what happened with that?"
"She said I was too boring for her taste." Willow said with a hint of bitterness.
"She wasn't worth your time anyway. Once you fall for Willow, you stay fallen." Willow smiled a sad smile and Buffy took a sip of her coffee.
*Maybe she's right* Willow thought to herself. Then a thought occured.
"What if I've already had my happiness in life? That was as good as it gets for me. I mean... what if there isn't a rainbow with a pot of gold at the end? What happens then?"
Buffy opened and closed her mouth but no sound came out.