I saw her that day - I was walking down the street on my way home from work and did a double take. I swore it wasn't her, it couldn't be her, she didn't live in this city anymore, it had been four years and I hadn't seen her, so why now? Why now that I was fine, that I was safe and over her? I rolled my eyes at my own thoughts - isn't that always the way, you think you're okay, you're safe and comfortable, and then something else throws you for a loop.
Life is like that I guess.
Well there she was, standing across the street, at the local café ordering a mocha. I smiled; she always did love mochas. I just stood there, I thought about going over to say hi, but I figured that would be pretty stupid. She tore my heart out so many years ago, what would we have to talk about if I did stop to say hi? 'Hi Tara, how have you been since you treated me like I was just a piece of furniture, oh really, I'm glad life went great for you while I stayed in this town and turned into a lonely loner.' I chuckled at my own silliness.
So instead I just stood there, after all these years I had so many things planned, I practiced a million times if not more what I would say if I ever ran into her again. But now that I had my chance I froze up. Crazy isn't it ?
Well me and my bright ideas, well, they don't work out so well most of the time. And today my bright idea was to stop for a few moments and just watch her - I just stood there leaning against a nice silver car that was parked along the street. My heart started pounding wildly as she stepped out of the café with her iced mocha in hand and walked towards the car I was leaning on, straight towards me. She was looking at me but she hadn't noticed who I was yet, or she just didn't remember, maybe I didn't mean as much to her as she did to me. I had changed a lot though, had dark short hair now, just above my shoulders, I wore glasses, thick dark frames, I was thinner if that was even possible. I shook my head out of my own thoughts and looked up. And there she was right in front of me giving me a very strange look.
She looked different too, her hair was lighter if that was possible, it was long and pulled back in a neat tight pony tail, she wore glasses too but hers had no frames, they were sleek and neat just like her. She had on tight jeans with tears and holes all over them, and a black t-shirt; she looked good. Being a cop did her well I'm guessing, she was ripped and toned in places I didn't know you could be toned. I looked her up and down not saying anything, she just stood there, it was about five seconds but it felt like twenty minutes.
"Excuse me?" she said, her voice strong and confident, something I hadn't really heard in her voice before, other than when we were together and alone in our bedroom.
"Sorry," I mumbled and stepped off the car, which I then realized was hers - typical eh? Decide to go and not talk to her and end up having to anyhow...
"Hey, I know you," she said, softly putting her hand on my arm. I looked up into her eyes and my heart skipped a beat. Then her eyes went large and her smile grew even larger - she was beautiful. "Willow?!" Her voice was high and shaky, I could feel her hand shaking against my arm as well.
"That is me," I smiled up at her, but I felt as though my face was going to break so I ended up looking like a constipated frog.
"Oh god," Tara whispered, her voice fell slightly. And I wondered what she was thinking.
"I was hoping to see you." And that is what she said next, and I wondered, why? Why would she want to see me again? I had no idea, but it couldn't be too bad could it?
"Oh?" I said, words didn't seem to be working well for me today.
"I moved back," she said slightly nervous, and that tough strong Tara I thought she had grown into was out the window in a blink of the eye.
"Oh, that's good, I guess," I said trying to sound calm. I knew I had no chance with her but I did tell her years ago that maybe we could be friends no matter what, but I didn't want that anymore. I couldn't be friends with her, I couldn't do that, I don't think.
"I was thinking it was," Tara sighed, I knew she had something to say but I wasn't acting like I really wanted to hear it.
"I guess, so how's life been treating you?" I asked after few moments of very uncomfortable silence.
"Do you have some time?" she asked me - did I have some time? I had nowhere to be, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to be there at that moment, then I finally looked at her, I looked into her eyes and saw her nervous smile and I realized I didn't want to be anywhere else at that moment.
"Sure," I smiled and walked towards the café as she followed closely behind me.