I can remember some moments with her like it happened just a few moments ago, our time together was beautiful.
I had been with someone when I had met her, I was in love, or so I thought, then I met her, I met that beautiful blue eyed goddess and I fell, harder then I had ever fallen before. Things were amazing and oh so complicated, all at the same time. The person I was with had been with me since I was 17, we lived together, we had two kids which were hers from a different marriage but I still loved them and still love them as if I gave birth to them. Life was safe, it was good, but things were hard, there was a lot of fighting going on, we didn't seem to click anymore, but I wasn't about to just walk away, the kids had already seen too much of that, but it was hard.
When I met Tara I was 21. It was an interesting meeting actually, I was at the park with my kids and partner and bumped into her, said I was sorry and she just chuckled told me it was alright. I strangely enough ran into a few more times after that, we started to hang out more, we clicked. At first we were just friends, she would come over for dinner, she got along great with my kids and partner, all our friends chilled out with her they thought she was great.
But then my partner and I would be alone and things would be bad, we were always fighting, we didn't agree on anything. It all came to a head at one point, a few months after my 21st birthday.
And we split up. It was a serious break, I was done, she was done; we left each other on good terms though, I still get to see the kids.
Anyhow back to the point of my story .
I called her up, Tara, I needed someone to talk to, and she was there. Within a few months of meeting we became best of friends, and she was there for me. We ended up going out a lot, spending a lot of time together. I loved her, everything about her, her smile would make my heart beat, she kept me sane. At some point our relationship turned from friendship to more then that, we got together one night after a long day and night at the bar, we went back to her place like we always did. I was getting ready to sleep on the couch and she told me to come into her room, so I did, thinking she wanted to show me something, she walked up to me and kissed me. Tara was beautiful, she was in a long t-shirt and nothing else. My heart stood still, I didn't breathe for a few moments, she told me to sleep with her, we didn't have to do anything but just to hold her, she needed it tonight she didn't want to sleep alone, so I did.
It was a beautiful night, the most calming night I had ever had.
We dated for a while, almost 3 months we were inseparable . Always together, she spent time with me and my kids, we went to the park together and just had fun. Life was good.
Then the dreaded day came that she had to go away to finish school, she was becoming a police officer you see and her training was about two days away. We said our goodbyes, with the intentions to see each other in a few months for her spring break, but as it drew closer, things got harder, she called me to let me know that she wouldn't be able to make it home for the break. I was a bit upset and heartbroken, but I got over it I figured I would get to see her in the summer, it seemed like forever away but as it drew closer, I got more excited. Then she called me out of the blue one weekend to tell me she was in the city, that she wanted to see me. I said of course and within twenty minutes she was at my doorstep. I was excited, I flew out the front door and stopped dead in my tracks when I saw the look on her face.
I didn't want to hear what was going to come out of her mouth, I didn't want to hear it, I didn't want any part of it. So I stood there frozen as she walked up the stairs and stood in front of me, she softly put her hands on my shoulders, tears in her eyes, and she said those words that I thought tore my heart out, I remember them like it was yesterday .
"Willow," she started softly, tears were behind her eyes, and mine were instantly filled with tears as well, but I refused to let them fall, I knew what was coming. "I met someone where I go to school," and my heart broke ever so slowly, "after training is done I'm going to stay there and work" And then I stopped listening .
She leaned in and kissed me one last time, and it was a kiss I'd never forget. It was a goodbye kiss, not an 'I'll see you some time', or a 'we'll stay friends' kiss, it was a goodbye, I'll never see you again and I hope you do well in life kiss.
Well to say the least, I was a wreck for a long time.
Tara, you know she was older then me, by a few years too. I was 21 she was 27, but the age gap never bothered me - my ex was 31 when I was 21, so you know I was used to it, but I think it bothered her. I found out later on the person she had met was a man who was 28, it fit her more, he had the same work she did. It was easier for her to admit that she loved him then me I guess. I don't know, I never had a chance to ask her. After she kissed me that day she got in her car and I haven't seen her again .
Well, it's been four years, I'm 25 now, and a lot has changed. I went back to school, now I'm a manager of a hospital. I don't see my kids any more, my ex decided she wanted to move to a different country, so she lives far away. I talk to them sometimes on the phone now and then but it isn't the same, we're still friends though, which is good I guess. I'm alone and most of the time extremely lonely. I've dated since Tara, but nothing too serious, nothing that means more then a one night stand.
But that's okay I don't need anyone in my life, it's less complicated that way. It's been four years. And I'm doing alright, even though a day hasn't gone by that I haven't thought about her, I'm still doing alright.
Or at least I thought I was until I saw her for the first time in what seems like forever.