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The Wiccans Grim
FIXED-BACK MOUNTAIN

Author: Trista
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters are property of Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy.


So when Willow and Faith reached a gas station, Faith rushed over to the magazine stand.

"They have the new issue!" Faith said.

"I think you have issues, Faith," Willow said. "What magazine are you talking about?"

"American Cheerleader," Faith said. "I've always wanted to be a cheerleader, underneath my slut exterior lies the heart of a cheerleader."

"Okay?" Willow said.

"That night when they were sitting around the campfire," Faith said, "you know what?"

"What?"

"I feel like we are in Brokeback Mountain," Faith said. "'Cause we're all gay and stuff."

"I hope not," Willow said. "It's bad enough being in some writer's twisted idea of a fairy tale."

"How are we going to find Tara, it's not like we're in some fairy tale were people turn into cows," Faith said.

"Um," Willow said, "yeah, we are in a fairy tale, I told you, you are a slut and stupid (see Wesley and Slutel), haven't you been paying any attention to the story?"

"No," Faith said. "My computer broke down and I couldn't read the rest."

"Oh," Willow said. "Sucks to be you, Faith."

"Ha ha, but I'm not a vamp," Faith said.

"You certainly have the brain of a cheerleader," Willow said.


The next morning Willow saw that Faith was nowhere to be found.

"Oh boy," Willow said, "she's probably sleeping with 20 guys, she misses the whole point of being gay."

Just then, Faith appeared with a girl by her side.

"Who's the girl?" Willow asked.

"Willow," Faith said, "this is Fred, she's going to help us find Tara."

"Yes," Fred said. "I was once..."

"...more with feeling?" Faith said?

"Ok," Willow said, "the writer of this story has to stop making jokes about the musical episode I have never heard of. Next thing you know you'll tell me that Tara died!"

Well actually, the narrator said...

"Don't finish that!" Willow said.

"Anyway," Fred said, "I worked for Glory, but one day she snapped and went evil. I think it was right after your visit, Willow. So I put in my two weeks' notice and quit."

To be continued...


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