First Steps to Recovery

Author: Willow Watcher
Rating: NC-17 sexual content and violence.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters of BtVS, they all belong to Joss Whedon and those others out there who have a claim in the series and all other things dealing with Buffy, but I wrote this story. The other characters are mine (copyright © 2005 Robbie Kelly)
Summary: Willow discovers that the first steps in life are sometimes the hardest.
Feedback: Yes please:

"You sure you're ready for this Will. It's a big step." Xander Harris looked over from his crouched position at his best friend.

Willow Rosenberg looked back at him with so much love in the world. "Well, I think it's time. I mean it's been what six or seven weeks. Felt like I should have done this the first week it happened." She jutted out her chin in frustration.

"Well ya know Buffy wouldn't have let that happened. She wanted to keep you in bed the whole time." He smiled at her and patted her hand. "Thank goodness she let you out today to come here."

"Buffy's a big meanie." Willow pouted. She was brought out of her pity fest when her cell phone rang. "Hello." She answered cheerfully.

"Willow, it's me." The sound of a female voice came over the line.

"Julie, where are you? You are supposed to be here." Willow pointed her finger as if the woman were standing right there in the same room.

Xander stood up and rolled his eyes.

"I'm on the interstate right now. I had to pick up my dry cleaning and send that package off and then get the car washed and I'm headed over there right now. I shouldn't be but about five minutes, well make that around ten. I need some coffee." The woman said.

"Julie, they have coffee here." Willow said in a bored tone.

"I'll be there soon baby, I promise."

"Just hurry O.K." Willow said almost pleading.

"I will. Bye."

Willow flipped her phone shut and sighed.

"Miss perfect?" Xander asked knowing exactly who it was. "What dilemma did she have this time to prevent her from being here on this day?" He puffed out his chest and crossed his arms.

"Xander please don't start." Willow looked up at him.

"I'm just sayin' Will, she's irresponsible and she acts like you're a burden more than a girlfriend."

"Look at what she's been through these last two months." Willow said trying to justify the situation.

"Who the hell do you think put you in that damn chair in the first place?!" He shouted out.

Willow looked away from him then down at the wheel chair she was sitting in. She looked back at Xander. "You know that was an accident."

"As many times as we've gone through this you are still defending her. She was drunk Willow. She ran over you in your own damn driveway and you're sitting there in that chair and you are going to tell me that she's responsible. If I hadn't been there to call the ambulance, you would have been..." He swallowed hard. "...dead." He said in a whisper.

Xander would often shoot up out of his bed, sweating and calling out Willow's name from the nightmares he would have remembering that horrible night.


"You call that a shot?" Xander laughed seeing the basket ball rebound off the backboard into the hedge bushes on the side of Willow's driveway.

"Hey, I was all state champion in high school. It's my method." Willow defended herself putting her hands on her hips.

"That was seven years ago Will. Been a long time since you've moved across a court." He laughed fetching the ball.

He heard a car rushing into the driveway at considerable speed. To him it seemed like everything was in slow motion.

There Willow was standing looking at the car wide eyed. She didn't have time to move. Xander tried his best to run towards her and push her out of the way but she was propelled through the air and hit the garage door with a thud. He swears he could hear her spine snap.

He screamed out to her when he saw her body slide down the door and left his best friend in a crumpled heap on the ground.


Tears threatened to fall from his eyes as he shook his head. He took in a deep breath and knelt down in front of the redhead. He took his hand and caressed her cheek. "I love you Willow. You mean everything to me. I just want you to be happy is all. I'm tired of you being hurt by that woman."

Willow leaned into his touch. "She's doing a lot better Xan."

He lowered his hand and shook his head.

"Willow Rosenberg?" A woman walked out of the physical therapy room to where the patient waiting area was.

Xander stood up. "Right here." He walked around and pushed Willow into the room.

The woman pointed out an area where Xander should park Willow's chair. She sat down in a straight back chair and looked at Willow. "My name is Marcy and I'll be your nurse. Is it alright if I call you Willow? We'll get to know one another pretty well through these six weeks of therapy." She looked at the chart she had in her hands. "I see you're Dr. Summers' patient. She's a great doctor."

Willow and Xander both shook their heads. "Buffy is one of our best friends."

Marcy smiled and looked at Xander. "Are you her husband?" She asked.

Willow laughed so hard she snorted.

Xander looked a little hurt. "Hey! I would be a great husband."

Willow leaned her head back on his stomach and looked up into his dark brown eyes. "You would but since I'm gay, the husband bit is kinda funny."

He bent down and kissed her on the forehead.

Willow smiled and gave her attention back to the nurse.

"Well, your therapist will be out here shortly. She's a sweet heart." Marcy got up from her seat and went behind the desk.

Xander walked around and took the empty chair for himself. He placed his hands on Willow's legs.

"Ya know Anya is pretty lucky to have a guy like you." The redhead smiled at him.

"I hope she's happy with me." Xander said almost asking for conformation.

"She is. Anyone who knows you is a better person for having you in their life." Willow beamed a huge smile.

Xander blushed and took in a big breath of air. He looked around and saw a woman approach them.

Willow turned her head to look in the same direction. Her heart literally skipped a beat. Music started to play in her mind as she watched the beautiful blonde approach them. All the surroundings faded away. The only sight she saw was this woman. Willow eyed her up and down. The way her shirt clung around the top of her body hugging her voluptuous breast. The way her jeans hugged her hips and the little patch of skin from her belly was exposed made Willow have feelings she hasn't felt in a long time.

Willow's breath hitched as the woman stood in front of her. The redhead watched as she crouched down.

"Hi." She said looking into Willow's green eyes.

"Uh...uh..." Willow tried to talk.

The woman looked over at Xander. "Was her speech affected too?" She asked with confusion. "There wasn't anything in my chart about that."

Xander looked over at his friend. Willow's eyes were wide and she was breathing hard. "Willow?" He called her name.

Willow quickly diverted her eyes to him then back at the blonde.

"Will?" Xander called out her name again.

Willow once again looked at him. She shook her head. "Huh?"

Xander saw the look in her eyes. He laughed out. "Willow, I think you better talk or they'll bring in a speech therapist too."

"Oh!" Her eyes widened and a blush quickly covered her features. She looked back to the blonde woman. "Oh hey!"

"Hey. I'm Tara." The woman introduced herself as she held out her hand.

Willow took the offered hand into hers. "Um, Willow." She held Tara's hand for a long time shaking it up and down.

Tara smiled and looked down.

There was a connection there, she noticed. Their hands fit perfectly. The softness of Willow's skin ran goose bumps up her arms and down her spine.

Tara pulled back slowly and stood upright. "I'll be your therapist. You've met Marcy I suppose, so let's get you set up." She walked over to the desk and picked up Willow's chart.

Willow looked over at Xander. ‘Wow!' She mouthed and he nodded in agreement.

Tara looked over at the two and crinkled her brows together. She looked in the chart in her hands. Nothing about a husband. She thought to herself. She looked over at Marcy. "Is that her boyfriend?" Tara asked.

"Nope. She's gay." The woman said with a wink.

"Don't even dare." Tara whispered. "She's my patient."

"The best kind." The woman said intrusively.

"You need a life Marcy." Tara smiled and walked away.

"Alright Miss Rosenberg, let's get you into a room." Tara said as she wheeled Willow through the office.

Tara parked the wheel chair beside a bed. She walked over and pulled Willow up against her. Their lips were mere inches from each other. Tara felt Willow's breath on her chin. She shook the feeling off and put the redhead on the bed.

Willow sighed as she was laid down. She wanted to grab the blonde and pull her down with her. The thoughts she had when she was so close to Tara's lips ran wildly through her mind.

"Let me get your chart and I'll be right back." She patted Willow on her thigh and headed out of the room.

Willow sighed and frowned. There wasn't any feeling what so ever in her legs. She would have loved to feel Tara's hand against them.

Xander came into the room and closed the door behind him. "I think someone's in love." He teased his best friend.

"Am not." She argued lamely. "I just met her like five minutes ago. I don't even know her last name."

"It's Maclay. I saw it on her badge." Xander told her.

Willow laid her head back on the pillow. "And plus I'm with Julie."

There was a light knock on the door and Tara poked her head in. Xander stepped to the side as the blonde walked in the room.

Tara sat down on a roll away stool.

"I'm just gonna go out here." Xander said as he excused himself.

Tara smiled at the redhead. "I'm going to ask you some questions Miss Rosenberg."

Willow nodded. "Please call me Willow."

"Alright then Willow, these questions will help me help you. Now, how did you sustain your injuries?"

"I was hit by a car and thrown back against a garage door." Willow answered honestly without going into major details.

Tara nodded her head and wrote the answer down.

"Can you move your lower back at all?"

Willow smiled pushed herself up with her arms and sat up. She turned her upper body from one side to the other.

"Good! Good." Tara said as she wrote her notes down. "Now how far are you paralyzed? I know it is in your legs but show me where exactly you can begin to feel any sensation."

Tara watched as Willow pointed out to the top part of her legs.

"So you still can feel stimulation when you need to use the bathroom, correct?"

Willow nodded. And when I have sex too. She thought. If it was good sex that I could brag about. She sighed and poked at the numbness in her thigh.

Tara reached out and took Willow's hand in hers. "We are going to get you better. I promise Willow." The blonde said sincerely.

With you I believe anything's possible. Willow thought.

Tara stood up, reached into a cabinet and brought out a pair of blue shorts. "You need to have these on so I can examine you better. Do you want me to get Marcy in here too?"

Willow shook her head. "No, I'm sure you will do a great job." She said a little bit flirtatious. Tara smiled crookedly.

OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! That is the prettiest smile ever! Willow shouted in her mind.

"I'm going to have you unbutton and unzip your pants and I'll help you remove them." Tara walked over to the side of the exam table and waited.

Willow couldn't help herself. She looked into Tara's blue eyes and saw the change in color as she undid the button and slid down the zipper. She opened the flaps on her pants and waited.

Tara unconsciously licked her lips. She looked down and with shaking hands slowly slid Willow's pants down over her hips and down her legs. She mentally kicked herself for not removing the shoes first. She let out an embarrassing giggle as she took one shoe off then the other, putting them on the floor under the chair in the corner. She pulled Willow's jeans the rest of the way off and folded them neatly and placed them in the chair.

Tara looked at the creamy white legs. She wanted to take her finger and go around every single one of those freckles. Taking in every detail, she stopped when she saw Willow's green, see through lacey panties. Tara's hand instinctively went over her heart when she felt the pull in her chest.

Willow smirked. She's looking at me. Oh baby, she's looking at me. Yay on my part.

Tara's eyes quickly moved and she held up the blue shorts. "You ready to put these on. I know they're not fashionable but it's all we have." She giggled.

Willow nodded and giggled as well. "That's alright. Blue is my favorite color."

Tara put the shorts on Willow. She walked down to the redhead's feet and put her hands there. "Now I'm going to move up and down your legs and I want you to tell me when you feel something."

Tara moved her finger up Willow's legs. When she got to the crook in Willow's thigh, the redhead let out a short giggle.

Tara pulled her hand back and looked into those captivating green eyes.

"It tickles." Willow gave her explanation.

Tara smiled. "That's good." She kept her hand on the high point of the thigh. She swore she could feel the heat radiating off Willow's center. She bit her bottom lip to keep from moaning.

A loud knock made Tara jerk her hand back.

"Hey Will." A black haired thin woman came into the room.

"Hey Julie." Willow held out her hand and the woman took it.

Tara frowned inside wishing that she was the one Willow reached out for.

"Julie, this is Tara. She's my therapist!" Willow said with excitement.

The raven haired woman looked Tara up and down. "Pleasure." She said smugly.

"Nice to meet you." Tara held out her hand and Julie took it.

The woman's hand felt cold and clammy. Tara pulled back and continued to massage Willow's other leg.

"Why is she touching you like that?" Julie asked accusingly at Willow.

"It's my job." Tara said not looking up but kept up with her work.

"It's alright Julz. This is the best place for therapy. Buffy said it was." Willow assured her girlfriend.

"Oh Buffy said. Well, we should always go by what the great Buffy says. She knows everything." Julie rolled her eyes and sat down in the chair. She moved over to the side and pulled Willow's jeans out from under her and laid them in the floor.

"Julie can we not do this now?" Willow pleaded.

"Why not? I'm sure blondie there wouldn't mind." The woman spat out nodding her head at Tara.

Tara felt like ordering the woman out of the room but she just continued working on Willow. She enjoyed the fact that she was touching the beautiful redhead.

Willow giggled again when Tara rubbed the spot above her thigh.

"I think that's enough!" Julie shouted out. "How dare you touch her there!" She stood up and grabbed Tara's hand.

Tara jerked her hand back away from Julie's grasp.

"Unless Willow tells me to stop then I am going to continue to do my JOB and if you grab me like that again, I will have you removed from the hospital. Understood?" Tara raised her brow daring the woman to argue.

Julie snarled and plopped down in the chair.

Whoa! Cat fight. Willow internally jumped up and down. She jerked when she heard the slight ringing.

Julie pulled her cell phone from her purse. "It's Julie, speak."

Willow closed her eyes and rolled them under the lids. She laid there listening to the conversation. "I can't right now. I'm with Willow." Julie sighed. "Alright, I'll be there in fifteen minutes." She flipped her phone closed and put it back in her purse and stood up. "I have to go."

"What?" Willow asked not believing what Julie was telling her. "One phone call and you're walking out?"

"That was Lisa. She wants me to go have lunch with her. She's all to hell Willow. You know how fragile she is. How can you be so heartless and cruel?" Julie shook her head. "Sometimes you are so selfish."

The anger in Tara was evident. She was kneading the skin on Willow's leg hard. She stopped when she noticed what she was doing. She was happy for that moment that the redhead didn't have any feeling. She turned to write in Willow's chart.

"Heartless? Cruel? Oh! Like you have room to fucking talk!" Willow sat up on her elbows. "I'm here because of..."

Julie started to cry. "I told you Willow that I didn't mean to. You keep on bringing it up. How many times do I have to say that I'm sorry for hurting you?"

Willow sighed.

Julie pointed to Tara. "Did you tell her? Does she know that I was the one who hit you and made you crippled?!"

"She does now." Willow said as she fell back down on the bed.

Julie slung her purse over her shoulder. "When you need me you know my number." She stormed out of the room and bumped into Xander on the way out. "Get out of my way!" Julie shouted.

Xander bowed and held his hands out for her to pass. He walked over to the door way of the exam room. "Everything O.K. Will?"

"Yeah. Just typical Julie."

Tara turned around and walked over to Willow. "Well, we're going to start your treatments tomorrow and then four times a week." She looked over at Xander. "Make sure she gets to everyone of these appointments." She handed him Willow's folder. "If you would, take this out to Marcy and she'll set up the time schedule. I need to help Willow get dressed."

Xander nodded and walked out of the office closing the door behind him.

Willow looked at the blonde. "Sorry about Julie. She can get a little..."

"Eccentric?" Tara asked as she pulled Willow's shorts off.

"That's one way to put it. She's O.K. She does care even though she may not show it." Willow said dejected.

Tara nodded her head. Don't get involved. Just stay out of it. Her mind told her. Screw that! Get involved. Tell Willow that you would take care of her. her heart argued. You don't even know this woman.

"Hey are you alright?" Willow said and brought Tara out of her thinking.

"Oh! Yeah fine. It's been a long day." Tara told her.

She looked down and to her own surprise how quickly she had put Willow's jeans back on.

"Pretty fast at that." Willow complimented.

Tara smiled and put her shoes on too. "Pretty quick at other things too." She mumbled out.

"What?" Willow asked.

"Nothing. looks like you're ready to go." Tara lifted Willow off the bed with ease and put her back in her wheel chair.

"Thanks Tara and I am sorry about Julie." Willow straightened her shirt.

"It's alright. I've dealt with worse." Tara gave her a reassuring smile.

She backed up pulling Willow's chair with her and wheeled her out where Xander was.

"Everything set up?" Willow asked.

Xander held up a sheet of paper. "Got ya covered." He looked at Tara. "Thanks."

Tara nodded. She bent down to Willow. "We will have you walking in no time."

Willow closed her eyes and took in a deep breath of air. Feeling the vibration of Tara's voice on her ear sent a heated sensation down between her legs.

Xander cleared his throat. "Ya ready hot rod?"

Willow nodded enthusiastically.

Xander stepped behind her and flipped her chair back.

Willow squealed with joy. "See you tomorrow!" She shouted out as Xander rushed out of the office with her.

Tara laughed out and went over to where Marcy was.

The nurse looked at the blonde. "Soooo?"

"What?" Tara asked innocently.

"I've never seen you glow like this before."

"I have no idea what you mean." Tara rolled her eyes and smiled a crooked grin. "I'm going out for lunch." She whistled happily as she walked away.

Continue to First Steps to Recovery Chapter Two

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