'Tis the Season
Mammals and Mayhem

Author: BentBrokenTheory (Akilah...yep like Akeelah and the bee...)
Rating: Mmm I'd say R
Feedback: Yes, Oh yes please... Please leave feedback on the 'Tis the Season Challenge thread on the Kitten Board.
Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own them. Like everyone else here I wish I did...
Summary: Not really good with summaries. This story just sort of popped into my head... Um I guess Willow and Tara get startled by a certain something in a box...
Notes: Flashbacks are in italics so are thoughts
This is my First Fic ever so please be nice. Also I know that women do go on hunting trips and what have you just like men do, but I am honestly not a fan of said activities. And I would just like to say that no armadillos were hurt during the Writing of this Fic. This coming from the lesbian, vegan, earthy, yoga instructor that is my very personality....anyway on with the show. ::Looks on self consciously::

Willow took a moment from the office festivities to stare into her champagne glass. Tara's company had thrown this Christmas Eve office party annually, and every year the redheaded genius had found a way for them to studiously avoid going. This year unfortunately had been different.

Tara had just gotten out of the shower to find Willow sitting on the bed, still wrapped in her towel. Her viridian eyes were glazed over and Tara knew that her lover was vacationing somewhere deep in the corners of that beautifully large mind. After listening for a moment to ensure the children were still downstairs in the living room of their pent house apartment with Kira, their regular babysitter, she closed the door quietly The blonde paused to drop her bag of frankincense that willow had left in the bathroom. Tara had to hold back a chuckle as she made her way over to Willow.

"Sweetie?" She whispered as she knelt in front of the redhead, taking both hands into her own. Tara hoped this would be enough to shake the hacker out of the mental race she was obviously running. Willow on the other hand only seemed to compete faster in this race at the sight of her lover, kneeling before in just a short, tight, towel.

'Ok so Plans A through G of operation Snub Snooty and Sluttish Office Party have not succeeded. I only have plan H, my last hope. I just hope I can get in touch with the key player in plan H, "Horny Tara."'

The redhead's eyes suddenly became darker and Tara instantly knew what her lover was thinking. She had been at it all day, attempting to convince Tara that they could skip the office party again this year. The blonde honestly had no desire to attend this meeting of the minds and potentially other body parts disguised as a friendly office get together.

'The office sluts really seem to shine at this time of year' She thought briefly before turning her attention back to her dark green- eyed goddess.

"Willow." Tara said softly "You know why we have to go this year. My promotion should be any day now and as the future Editor-In-Chief; I have to make an appearance. I promise we'll only stay for just a bit. Then we can come home..." The blonds voice dropped a few octaves, taking on a sultry smooth tone. "And I'll be your Grinch again this Christmas." Willows eyes widened as her lover leaned over to slowly lick her neck, right under her ear.

Willow thought back to last Christmas. Willow and Tara had learned that their two children, an adorable little redheaded four year old boy named Bradly, and a wonderful blond haired six year old girl named Cindy, had developed a bit of an obsession with the story of how the Grinch stole Christmas. So instead of parents dressing up as Santa clause and elves, Willow found herself dressed as an unsuspecting adult Who of Whoville (complete with silly hair and pointy shoes). And Tara found herself, much to her chagrin, as a female version of the Grinch. She was forced to make the costumes herself as she refused to wear a full suit. So she settled for green tights, a tight long sleeved green shirt and stage make-up, which was believable due to the blonde's natural artistic skill. The children never the less found the entire night exciting and by the time they were in bed, the wiccan was exhausted. As she turned to her lover, originally planning to take her to bed for some well needed rest, she caught a glint in those eyes that she had fallen in love with all those years ago.

"Will, what's going through that head of yours." Tara said fondly with a hint of curiosity. Willow slowly made her way over to her costumed lover taking in all her wondrous curves.

"I was actually thinking, that maybe we could play now..." The redhead's voice trailed off breathless as she ran her hands up Tara's arms.

Tara was speechless as she took in the state of her aroused lover.

"P-Play?" Was all that she could bring herself to say.

"Oh yes, play. You can be my Grinch, and I can be the unsuspecting who. And you can enter and come down my chimney to coax and eventually take all my goodies and presents..." Her voice trailed off as she looked into her lover's now midnight blue eyes. Willow held back her shock as Tara wordlessly pulled her upstairs to the bedroom, where chimneys were entered and many presents were taken and given.

Willow shook her head to clear her mind of the daydream, and remembered her surroundings once again. The annoying shrill of a generic office harpy passing by reminded her that she had in fact agreed to come to the party after Tara's words...'Come on, who couldn't be coaxed by Tara? Tasty Tara.' She knew her lover had her in the palm of her hand, and she wouldn't have it any other way. Willows eyes scanned the floor for any sign of her blue eyed goddess, and much to her dismay she located her, in the far-east corner of the room. The wiccan was standing in a group of coworkers seemingly having a light conversation. But Willow's keen eyes knew different. For standing next to Tara was quite literally the bane of the redheads existence over the last couple years. Ted was one of the writers for the New York Times and he worked under Tara. From day one the Blond could not shake off his unwanted advances, even after clearly stating that she was happily married to her soul mate, who was a woman, and had two wonderful kids. Ted did not get the message how ever and had continued to hit on Tara every chance he got. The Redhead quickly downed her third glass of champagne and stalked across the floor toward the group standing in the corner. Upon arriving she took a quick glance into her lovers blue eyes and saw all she needed to see. Tara was wearing her "I don't want to be rude but I'd rather be having teeth pulled than standing here talking to you face."

'That's it, time to go.' Willow discreetly shoved Ted aside to place her hand on the small of Tara's back, and Tara gratefully leaned back into her lovers embrace. She knew the signs, she could always read her beloved and Willow was ready to leave. And not a moment too soon because they had been talking about Ted's Surprise Christmas present of Tara.

"I'm sorry everyone but we really should be going..." The blonde stated to the group.

Willow picked up where she left off with her sentence. "Because we should be getting back to our children at home now." She flashed a bit of her resolve Face, daring anyone to disagree. The couple said their last goodbyes and much to the redhead's relief Ted was nowhere to be seen. Willow and Tara gathered their coats and headed towards the elevator when a clammy hand stopped Tara on her shoulder.

"Tara, wait." A male like voice called out.

The coupled turned around to see Ted standing there with a present lying in his hand, he was holding it out as if he were making a holy offering to a goddess. Tara's brow furrowed and willows pout took on a very dangerous evolution, going from cute to potentially killer. Ted of course took the hint and after ensuring that Tara took the present he bolted faster than you can say slimy stupid smelly man... well that seemed right, in Willows brain anyway. They both turned back to the elevator annoyed, and more than a bit curious about the mystery present. Later on at home after the much needed kisses and bedtime stories to their children, they both walked into their bedroom and stopped in front of Ted's present resting on the floor in front of the bed,(Willow refused to put it on the bed.) With a sigh Tara sat on the floor and quickly divested the box of its wrapping. The blonde lifted the cover so that willow, who was sitting right behind her resting her chin on her shoulder, and herself could view its contents. They both let out a shriek and Tara instinctively threw the box across the room.

"Tara what in the freaky frilly heck was that???" Willow said breathlessly

Tara, who had looked part confused and part disgusted could only shake her head and shrug.

"I think...Tara I think it was a mammal..." Willow trailed off as they both got on their hands and knees, slowly crawling over to the upside down now slightly mangled box. Sure enough when finally gathering the courage to turn the box over, beady eyes and a snout-like nose greeted them. Willow being more of a city girl had to rack her scientific brain to recall the creature. However the southern girl in Tara knew right away.

"It's an armadillo..." The blonde had said with a sudden southern drawl that made her lover look at her with surprise. After the question of why southern people said "armadillo" in that particular way was asked by the red head and the intriguing conversation that followed Tara's answer; they discovered, through a note left with the package, that Ted had gone hunting and had decided that Tara would appreciate the stuffed animal.

"Stupid males and their stupid pastimes." Willow and grumbled after scanning the note.

Tara chuckled lightly and tossed the note aside. She turned and embraced her beloved softly and then pulled back to look into her eyes.

"I recall making a promise to a certain redheaded goddess a few hours ago..." Tara had whispered with love and a hint of passion.

The note and accompanying mammal were quickly forgotten in Willow's mind and she soon found herself pressed into the mattress by her lover's warm soft body.

The people of New York, that found themselves wandering around 36 and 6th street could have sworn that they had heard a voice scream "God bless us, every one." These same people also were forced to step over some dead animal lying in the middle of the sidewalk. While this was not an uncommon occurrence for the New Yorkers they did have to wonder exactly what this Rat like creature was. You and I of course already know.


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