Author: MissKittys Ball O Yarn
"In Logan's defense it wasn't all her fault. I can't honestly say that after a few years I didn't know what she was about...but I felt....I don't know... It's hard for me to admit this, but I think I was using her just as much as she was using me." Tara wondered what Willow was thinking. She watched the redhead's face for a sign but Willow was hard to read.
They sat at a secluded table drinking coffee. A candle flickered in the center of the round table and Willow took note of its extraflamey'ness. Her eyes met the flame and when she lifted them again, the memory of it burned in her gaze.
Willow thought about what Tara had revealed. She thought about her own life and the number of times she had used a woman for something she felt she needed; sex, companionship, or to fill that thing that had always been missing inside her, like a hole that she'd tried to fill with women..."I think we all use each other in some way or other," she chose her words carefully.
Tara nodded softly. She could see what Willow meant, but she didn't agree with her completely. She knew it was possible to be close with someone without ulterior motives. "The one good thing that came out of my relationship with Logan was Spencer. He's such a light. He keeps me going everyday, you know?"
"He's a great kid." Willow agreed. She liked Spencer very much and she could tell the depth of the bond he and Tara shared. It was more than Willow could ever hope to have.
"He really likes you a lot."
Tara spoke as if she had read Willow's thoughts which caused Willow to blush.
"I haven't seen him this excited about someone in a very long time...he wanted me to ask you if you would come over and watch Mary Poppins with him again. He promises he wont fall asleep this time," Tara laughed, recalling the conversation she'd had with her son that night while waiting for her friend Ginny to arrive.
Ginny had babysat Spencer a number of times in the past few years and they adored each other. Tara felt very comfortable leaving him in her care.
Spencer been excited to know that his mommy and Willow were going to spend time together, and Tara was glad that he was happy, but she was cautious too. She didn't want Spencer to assume anything and then be disappointed if those things didn't happen. He had too much disappointment in his life already just in dealing with Logan.
Willow felt the tension she'd felt growing in her stomach a moment ago, ease. "Well, you can tell Spencer I would love to come over... any time," Willow said, her eyes met Tara's and she nonchalantly raised her coffee mug to cover the silly grin she felt approaching. Had Tara just asked her on a second date?
"He's a very schedule oriented child...he'll probably want a time and date." Tara smiled coyly. They were playing the game, and both knew that they were no longer talking about Spencer.
Tara held Willow's hand as they made their way to the club's entrance. They could hear the music from outside. Someone was singing Barry Manilow, rather badly.
"I don't know about this, Tara." Willow was beginning to have doubts about this next destination.
"You'll love it." Tara said pulling Willow along with her.
"It's just...I can't sing," Willow said shyly. She stopped in her tracks just outside the entrance.
"You don't have to sing."
"But it's a karaoke place and singing is sort of the custom...when in Rome?" Willow was worried. She'd purposefully stayed away from anyplace Karaoke oriented her whole life...well, since college anyway, and she wasn't feeling great about the idea of it now.
"You said it was my choice, didn't you?" Tara smiled as she reminded Willow of the telephone conversation they'd had a couple days ago.
"Well yes...but I must say, I was under duress at the time." Willow recalled that Tara had rendered her completely helpless the other night on the phone when they'd discussed the details of their date. She was quickly finding out that she could refuse Tara nothing...
The truth was, Willow was terrified of stages and of singing on stages in particular...she used to have a reoccurring dream that she was topless on a stage singing with the cast of CATS grading her performance.
But she had given Tara her word, and she would make good on that word...even if it meant Karaoke.
"You'll just have to trust me, then," Tara said smiling. She didn't think Willow was really all that nervous, if she had, she never would have even considered making the redhead face her worst fear on their very first date.
Tara took Willow's hand again, and this time there was a warmth that settled in her fingertips at the touch of the other woman's hand in her own.
Tara hadn't asked her to sing anything all night, and Willow was amazed at how comfortable she had begun to feel almost from the start. Perhaps it was because they were in a lesbian Karaoke bar, and there were very few men there to make her feel uncomfortable...but mostly Willow believed it was Tara's presence that helped to ease her fears. The blonde had kept close to her all evening, and had only left Willow's side two times that night to take her turn on stage.
Willow hadn't been surprised that Tara could sing. She wouldn't have pictured a voice any less angelic for her. And Willow found that she loved watching her on the stage.
Each time, Tara had seemed to be singing only to her. It warmed Willow incredibly so. And made her feel as if she wanted to do the same for Tara.
Willow held out her hand and Tara took it. Together they moved fluidly out onto the dance floor. This wasn't the first song they had danced to that night, but it was the first slow dance they would share.
Willow felt no nervousness as she lead Tara through the crowd and easily into her arms.
There were women all around them dancing in varying stages of closeness. The band had taken over and the music played, uninterrupted.
Tara felt Willow's warm hands around her waist. There was still enough distance between them so as not to look like they came from the Dirty Dancing screen rehearsal, but they were close enough to feel each other.
It had been years since the last time Tara had been this close to a woman and she could feel her body instantly responding to Willow. They moved together in synchrony, as if they had danced every day of their lives together this way.
The song ended and Willow reluctantly released her arms from around Tara. What she really wanted was to keep holding her, but propriety dictated otherwise. She silently wondered if Tara was feeling the same way.
Tara stood with her back toward the stage. Willow had excused herself a few minutes ago to use the ladies room and Tara had taken that opportunity to order their drinks from the bar.
She was ordering two diet cokes when the music began. At first she didn't think much of it. The music had been going all night as woman after woman took her turn at the mic. But then the words came and Tara felt a shiver race down her spine. She recognized Willow's voice right away.
Can you hear me calling
Tara turned toward the stage, slowly. Willow was holding the microphone in her hand. They made eye contact and Tara shivered again. She smiled, and Willow returned her smile.
Speak a little louder...
Tara didn't miss the meaning behind the song Willow was singing. It felt as if Willow was speaking directly into her heart with every last word.
I want to be with you everywhere...
Tara watched Willow and felt a warmth spread through her. Their eyes never left each other, even as Willow finished her song and made her way down the steps at the front of the stage.
Even the deafening sounds of clapping and whistling from the other women as Willow made her way through the crowd seemed to fade into the background as they came together.
They were both laughing as they ran toward Willow's car. It was pouring rain and they were becoming rather soaked.
"How was it?" Willow asked with a charming grin on her face; she already knew the answer. Tara stopped, and turned toward Willow. The redhead nearly collided with the blonde's body.
"It was awful," Tara said cutely, but honestly.
"Sooo awful," Willow agreed, ducking her head and blushing with both laughter and embarrassment over what she'd done. Then before Willow could say anything else, Tara was kissing her. She felt Tara's arms wrap around the back of her neck and she opened herself to the feel of the blonde's warmth.
In the middle of the parking lot while the rain poured down, they stood, kissing deeply.
"I've wanted to do that for the longest time," Tara whispered against Willow's mouth. She couldn't believe that she'd been so bold... She didn't wait for Willow to respond, instead she released her arms from around Willow and ran for the safety of the car.
Willow didn't move as she momentarily let the rain soak through her clothes.