The ride home was quiet, I was upset still and she knew it. But she was trying, she wasn't just going to let me walk away, which I guess was a good thing, but I needed some space to think. For years and years this is all I wanted, I wanted her to come home, come home to me, and she did, she finally did and I didn't know what to do, I wasn't sure what I honestly wanted anymore.
I loved her, yes. But I didn't trust her not to tear my heart out again. I guess if we started off as friends like before we would be able to build that trust. That is what we talked about before I got out of her car. Being friends, I told her, that's all I wanted at this point in my life, she agreed that she would be okay with that, she said she had missed me to much to turn down ANY kind of relationship.
We smiled and said our goodbyes and exchanged numbers, then I went home. Back up to my big airy loft in the sky. I love my place, it was huge and open, it was an old warehouse, still had the steel doors that slid and everything. I could think here, I could relax and just be me, though today I wasn't even ten minutes and someone knocked on the door. The pounding persisted for a few moments and I hollered across the room: "I'M COMING !" I gritted my teeth, thinking maybe it was one of those door-to-door sales people; I slid the door open full force and there were my two best friends standing with grins on their faces and a case of beer in their hands.
I laughed, "Hey Faith and Buffy, come in." I stepped out of the way and let them walk through, I didn't have to tell them to make themselves at home, they knew where everything was and were welcome to whatever they wanted.
"Hey Red," Faith grinned and wrapped her arms around me from behind. I couldn't help but smile, Faith always made me feel better - she was there for me every second when Tara broke my heart, and so was Buffy.
"We brought beer." Buffy poked her tongue out and gave me a big hug, it was almost like we hadn't seen each other in years, yet we spoke and hung out only yesterday.
"Yay, beer is exactly what I need right now," I sighed and flopped down on the couch as Faith went to go get us all one and put the rest in the fridge.
"What's up there cupcake?" Faith grinned as she walked back in passing us each a bottle.
"I ran into someone today," I whispered softly looking at the Budwiser in my hand.
"Oh, and who might this someone be?" Buffy asked bouncing like a kid that just got the worlds biggest candy bar.
I took a sip of my beer, well it wasn't really a sip more like a chug then I told them. "Tara." It was a soft whisper, just so hopefully they wouldn't hear me.
"YOU WHAT?!" Faith said and spat her beer all over Buffy and myself - we both couldn't help it, we burst out laughing, it was a reaction I wasn't expecting at all.
"What the fuck does she want?" Faith said after trying to clean up her mess.
Buffy and I were still chuckling softly. Then I cleared my throat to finish telling them what was going on. "She wants friendship, hopefully more." I shook my head, this was almost like one of those extremely real twisted dreams.
"Fuck that!" Faith spat, she hated Tara, she hated how she hurt me, and I was hoping that at some point Faith would give Tara a chance especially if we ended up being more then friends.
"Easy tiger," Buffy calmed her girlfriend down a bit, rubbing her hand up and down Faith's back, trying to soothe her slightly.
"It's okay Faith, we are taking it slow, I walked away at first I didn't want to hear it at the time, but then she came after me, she drove me home and we talked a bit, we figured friends was a good place to start to see if we could rebuild the trust that I had lost in her." I cooled them off quickly and took another large drink of my beer.
Things were crazy in my life, things were just nuts most of the time and it would be nice for once if people just got along.
"Well we are happy for you either way, but just be careful," Buffy gritted her teeth slightly, I could see it, or more so hear it, I shook my head and chuckled.
"Well I'm not happy about this yet, she needs to prove herself and when I do get to meet her I get to give her a hefty warning!" Faith ground her teeth so hard I thought they might turn to dust.
I couldn't help but smile and hug my dear friends.