Author: JustSkipIt
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy own Willow and Tara and the Buffyverse.
Feedback: Please leave feedback on the Menorah Tales thread on the Kitten Board.
Note: Physics jokes courtesy of http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/2_3.html#subindex.
Note 2: Thanks to Rachel who helped me think through this chapter.
Note 3: Sally: You made it look easy and it's not.

About a year later

Tara woke slowly, content in the warm flannel sheets and thick comforter on the bed. The softness of the cotton against her skin made her feel held and happy. She opened her eyes and immediately saw the bedside table with its clock. 6:18 seemed pretty early to be waking but it was ok. Past the bedside table, she spied the menorah covered with wax where it had dripped from the first three candles. She rolled away from the bedside table and reached out, finding an empty spot and tangled sheets.

As she always did, Willow had left Tara's robe on the foot of the bed when she got up. Tara swung her feet over the side of the bed and quickly pulled on the robe and the new addition-a pair of wool socks. Feeling more awake and less groggy, she could detect the smell of coffee in the apartment and hear Willow typing on the computer. She stopped in the small kitchen to pour a cup and looked around. The room was approximately large enough to hold one person if that person wasn't very big and didn't move around much. Willow had considered getting a roommate but explained that between her long hours and her wish for privacy she really didn't want to share space with anyone even if it meant more space and a nicer place.

Tara warmed her hands on the "English Majors do it with words" cup and took a sip. The kitchen joined onto Willow's study, a room most people would have considered a living room. Tara smiled at her lover. A living room would have contained a couch, television, stereo, a few lamps. Willow's study held two large tables made of discarded doors on egg crates. The first table held a computer on one end and papers stretched over the remaining surface. The second, the table where the redhead currently sat, had another computer, a printer, and three cups of assorted colored pens. A chair sat just to her left as if someone had recently been studying the screen output with her but it now held three or four serious looking tomes. Low music emanated from the speakers on the computer Willow wasn't currently driving into the ground with her relentless keystrokes.

Knowing that as involved in her research as she was Willow wouldn't look up unless Tara made a noise, Tara leaned against the doorframe and watched her girlfriend for a few minutes. Tara liked to think that her lover had grown into herself in the last few years. When they were young, Willow had been wonderful, magical, perfect, but she had also seemed so unsure of herself. It was as if she were embarrassed of her own intelligence, awkward in conversation, and unsure of how to talk to other girls or to boys. But over the past few years, she had blossomed. College had challenged her to excel and learn. Perhaps more importantly, the school allowed her to be around similarly brilliant students. And it wasn't just Willow's academic achievements. She didn't seem to put any effort into her looks but she was absolutely breathtaking in Tara's eyes. And Tara knew that it wasn't just her. She saw other women and men looking at the redhead when they were out and knew what the women were thinking because she thought it too.

Tara's brow furrowed as she watched the redhead tap her foot and chew on the end of a purple pencil. Willow cocked her head, watching characters scroll on the screen and then hit a few more keys. She wondered what would have Willow working so intently on the third day of their shared vacation. Since the Rosenbergs were in Greece from December 18 through January 2, Willow and Tara had decided to spend the first week and a half of their vacation in Cambridge rather than going home.

This year Willow finished her exams before Tara and had been relaxing for a day when she picked the blonde up at the airport. This coming semester, Willow would be taking six hours of undergraduate credits to complete her degree and six hours of graduate credits as well as conducting research with her faculty advisor. Even though Willow insisted that she could go to Duke for her Master's work, Tara knew that the redhead would be absolutely insane to give up completing her graduate studies at MIT. The research she was involved in was likely to turn into a paid position next fall if not this summer and would look great on her resume.

Tara walked slowly across the floor and stood behind Willow before gently putting her warmed hand on the girl's neck. Willow tilted her head back and smiled. "Good morning."

Tara leaned down and kissed the redhead thoroughly. She pulled back and looked at the complicated figures on the screen. "I thought you were done with all your work?"

Willow leaned over and picked up the three books off her chair and stacked them on the desk. Tara took the newly vacated seat and leaned over to put her head on her lover's shoulder. The redhead reached around to wrap her arms around Tara. "I was done with my work but I couldn't sleep so I got up and checked e-mail. Ant had sent me a note with ideas for a few more tests for the project."

"The other research assistant?" Tara asked only half-listening to Willow's answer. She read the spines of the books Willow moved for her. On of them was "God Created the Integers" and given that the copy Tara had given her lover last night was still on the floor of the bedroom, she wondered why Willow hadn't told her that she already had the book rather than gushing about what great things she had heard about it.

Willow smiled, her face lighting up. "Yeah. Always thinking but funny too. You'll love Ant."

"I'm sure I will," Tara said. When Willow looked back at the screen Tara asked, "Do you know how much work you need to do?"

Willow hit a few keys. "Maybe a few hours?" She turned toward the blonde and ran her hand gently along her thigh. "Then maybe we could do something fun. Go to a movie or take a long walk?"

"In the twelve degree frozen tundra?"

"Ok, so maybe not a long walk." Willow giggled and leaned over to kiss her lover. "Maybe we can find something else to do with our afternoon." She waggled her eyebrows playfully and Tara laughed.

"I think I'll go take a Pilates class," Tara said as she stood up. She leaned over and kissed Willow, who had already returned her attention to her computer screen, on the top of the head and went back into the bedroom. Last spring she had found a nice Pilates studio and enjoyed going for a class whenever she was visiting. Since Willow was so frequently busy, it left her plenty of opportunities. She knew that Judy, the studio owner, would be happy to see her for the first time since last spring.

In fact, Judy was very happy to see Tara. The mid-forties woman and her husband asked the blonde to stay at the studio and have some tea and a visit. They actually drove her back over to Willow's apartment, saving Tara the bus ride in the cold weather. Both said to give their good wishes to Willow and dropped her at the sidewalk. Tara walked slowly to the door of the apartment building. She had greatly enjoyed her session and it gave her time to think. Some of what she thought about didn't make her very happy and she tried to put those thoughts from her mind.

Hoping that Willow would be done with her research, Tara smiled at her thoughts of enjoying a fun and relaxing afternoon. She opened the door to hear Willow's voice. At first she thought the girl was speaking to her but quickly realized that she was on the telephone. Willow's laughter carried through the small apartment. "I can't believe you said that!" "No." "I know did you hear that too?"

Tara closed the door and waited a few seconds, wondering if Willow had heard her. She didn't want to surprise the redhead by shouting through the apartment. She took the few steps across the small foyer area and leaned on the doorframe of Willow's office. Willow sat at her desk as if no time had passed since Tara's departure a few hours ago. The phone was jammed between her shoulder and ear and she was concentrating on her computer screen. Tara watched her with a combination of admiration and sadness. Willow had really accomplished a lot in her time at MIT. At just age 20 she would be one of the youngest and highest honored graduates this May. Her research was well above the level expected for an undergraduate student and she was expected to excel during her Master's work.

But sometimes Tara worried that her lover worked too hard. This semester in particular, their communication had been more sporadic than ever before. The redhead was frequently distracted during their phone conversation and had trouble remembering even what classes Tara was taking. She couldn't remember a time when Willow hadn't had a color-coded schedule worked out for her class and study schedule. In years past, Tara would call and Willow's first question was how studying for her English test or History paper was going. This semester, Tara felt encouraged if Willow seemed to remember that she was in school at all. She was very loving and sweet on the phone and repeated how much she missed the blonde, but wasn't responsive to deep conversations.

Willow looked up from her phone conversation and abruptly said that she needed to go and hung up. She stood up, stretching as she walked toward Tara. "How was your Yoga class?"

Tara took a slow breath. "Pilates."

"Right," Willow playfully slapped her forehead with her palm. "Dumb busy brain. Pilates. You said Pilates before you went."

Tara felt warmed by Willow's smile. "It was a very good class."

Willow wrapped her arms around Tara's waist. "Good." She nuzzled her nose in the blonde's neck. "I thought we could go out for Greek food? There's a new restaurant a few blocks away. Ant took me there a few weeks ago and I liked it. I think you will too."

Tara hugged her lover back and ran her hands up and down the girl's back. You're too skinny. "Yes. I need to take a shower first but I thought maybe we could go ice skating this afternoon."

Willow bounced up and down on the balls of her feet. "Yes. Ice skating definitely." She leaned in and sniffed before joking telling Tara, "And also shower definitely." Tara playfully swatted Willow's bottom. "I need to finish one more test. Do you want to wait to go eat or come back here after lunch?"

Tara's stomach grumbled and moments later Willow's did too. The two girls looked at each other and giggled. "I guess that answers the question," Willow said. Tara nodded and went to take her shower as Willow went back to the computer.

They returned to the apartment refreshed from the excellent food and the brisk walk in very cold weather. The brisk walk had turned into a brisk snowball fight and they were still laughing when they walked in the door. Willow started peeling off her wet coat and reached for Tara's too and they quickly embraced and began kissing passionately. When Tara's cold fingers hit Willow's stomach, the redhead yelped and jumped back a step, noting the smirk on Tara's face. "You can't take a little cold, Ms. Rosenberg?"

Willow smirked back. "I can but I still need to finish that test so we can go skating. You want to go skating right?"

Tara leaned forward and kissed her lover gently. "Sure, I want to skate," she agreed. She playfully swatted Willow's bottom and told her to go finish her work. Once the redhead had returned to work, Tara finished getting more comfortable an took her book to lay down in the bed and read for the few minutes she waited.

Her book was quite engrossing and she didn't notice the time passing until she looked at the clock which read 2:10. She and Willow had gotten back to the apartment about 12:30 which means that Willow had been working for over an hour and a half. She quietly got up and wandered toward the office, stopping when she again heard Willow's voice on the phone. The blonde turned and went back to sit on the edge of the bed. She wondered if she should interrupt Willow? Go skating by herself? What would be most likely to get Willow's attention? To be the most fun? To make them happy? She wanted so badly to enjoy this time together but Willow was all work and no play Willow and she was starting to get very frustrated. She leaned against the headboard and wrapped her arms around her legs, realizing that she was wallowing in her own self pity but unsure how to get out of it or stop. She had so many unanswered questions about Willow. About their relationship. About Willow's priorities. What was going on with the redhead? Was it just her school work or was there something else?

Willow woke Tara a few hours later by tapping her gently on the shoulder. "Tara? Baby?"

Tara rolled groggily toward Willow's voice. "Snuggle me."

Willow smiled and climbed into the bed in front of Tara so that the blonde could wrap her arms around her. "You fell asleep." She rolled over to face her lover. "You looked so beautiful that I didn't want to wake you."

"Missed you," Tara mumbled.

"Missed you too," Willow agreed, planting a kiss on Tara's adorable nose. She snuggled the blonde for a few more minutes. "I made us dinner." Tara sat up and nodded and Willow went to the kitchen and Willow returned to the bed with soup and sandwiches on a tray. "Chicken noodle and peanut butter and jelly?"

She handed the tray to Tara and slid in beside her to lean on the headboard. Tara took a bite of her sandwich. "You're nearly a college graduate and you still eat like a little kid." She smiled fondly at the girl.

Willow began eating the soup and intentionally slurped the noodles off the spoon. "If growing up means not eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, I'll do nothing of the sort." Tara laughed, nodding that Willow's point was taken. "Ant eats the most disgusting things. Easy cheese and olives. Peanut butter and bologna sandwiches for breakfast. Totally gross."

Tara laughed again, somewhat uneasily but Willow didn't seem to notice. "I can hardly wait to meet Ant of the amazing brain and questionable diet. Maybe we should finish eating quickly so we can go to your party."

Willow agreed and they completed their meal, sneaking glances at each other as they finished eating. Once they were done, they both dressed and got ready for the party. Willow stepped behind her lover and wrapped her arms around her waist. "I'm not sure we should go to the party at all." She fanned her fingers out over the Tara's hips. "Maybe we should stay in. You know conserve heat?"

Tara giggled and turned in Willow's arms. "I don't think it's going to hurt us to leave the apartment for a few hours." She draped her arms over Willow's shoulders and looked her girlfriend up and down, smiling as she did so. Willow wore a pair of tight black jeans with black boots. She wore a green sweater that really set off her eyes. "You look so beautiful, Willow."

Willow leered at he lover. "I look like nothing compared to you, Tara." She waved her hand as if unable to find words to describe how fantastic Tara looked in the floor-length brown suede skirt and low cut white blouse.

Tara blushed and leaned in for a gentle kiss. "You still find me attractive after all these years?"

"Hubba hubba!" Willow enthused playfully. Tara laughed and Willow picked up the keys to her car. "After you, my lady."

As they walked down to the car, Tara could feel her insecurities surfacing. She and Willow had never gone to a party at either of their schools. They'd been out with a few friends for dinner or to watch videos but this would be the most people that they'd visited and she felt very nervous about it. She felt like there were a lot of things running through her head and heart and it was hard to keep them all sorted out these days. The past few days with Willow had been, with some exceptions, wonderful but she couldn't help wondering what she was missing. They had spent so much time apart in the past four years that it was shocking that they were still together.

In a few short minutes, they pulled up in front of a large house with people and music streaming out through the front door. Tara sat in the car for a few extra seconds getting her breath and Willow walked around to let her in. As she pulled her from the car, Willow placed a kiss on the blonde's cheek. "You'll have a great time. I promise." When she didn't see Tara smile immediately she added, "If you're not having a great time in 45 minutes, we'll go home and watch a video ok?"

Tara nodded and they started up the walk. Willow seemed quite happy and in her element as they began to make their way through the crowd. She apparently knew everyone as people kept stopping her to say hi or happy holidays. A few even wished her a Happy Hanukkah which Tara supposed wasn't that unusual at MIT. More than one person asked Willow where Ant was or when Ant would be there.

Once inside, the girls quickly found the room where all the coats were stacked on a twin bed and added theirs to the pile. Then they went into the kitchen which was apparently serving as the bar and each got a glass of wine. Neither woman abstained from alcohol but neither liked to indulge in common college-aged drinking fests either. They milled around the party, stopping to visit with some of Willow's friends and classmates. Tara felt like everyone was nice to her, even if she did feel left out of all the jokes.

After a while, Willow got involved in a debate over quarks or quirks or something and Tara decided to drift off to see what was happening on the other side of the room. Six or eight students sat around a table with shot glasses in front of them. They were circling the table, saying chemical names and then sometimes drinking. It was obviously a drinking game but she couldn't begin to imagine the rules. "Manganese… Iron… Nickel" went the offerings. When the person playing pronounced Nickel, a great roar went up and that person took a drink.

"It's like the drinking game sevens but with atomic numbers." Tara hadn't realized that Willow had left her conversation and was standing just next and a little behind her. She gave the redhead a confused look. "In sevens the players say numbers without saying a number that has a seven in it or is a multiple of seven. This is like that but the atomic number of the elements." She pointed at the guy who had just had the drink. "Chad skipped Cobalt which is 27 but forgot about Nickel which is 28 or 4x7." She smiled. "Or maybe he just wanted to take a drink. I'm not sure he's forgotten anything since he was in diapers."She took the blonde's hand and said. "Why don't you come over here and say hi to Ty?"

Tara nodded, happy to have the opportunity to visit with anyone she had met before. She knew through Willow that Julie had graduated the year before and moved to the West Coast. Willow wasn't even sure if Ty and Julie were still in contact.

"Tara!" Ty quickly gave the blonde a hug and stepped back to look at her. "You look more gorgeous every year."

"Thanks, Ty." Tara squeezed the other girl's hand, happy for the flattery as well as having someone to talk to. After a few minutes of listening to Ty and Tara discuss movies, Willow tapped Tara on the shoulder and told her she was going to visit the rest room.

"You know," Tara said a few minutes later, "I feel like I could use a quick trip to the rest room too."

She promised to catch up with Ty later and made her way toward a long line. By the time she reached the beginning of the line, she concluded that Willow must have found another bathroom since the girl hadn't emerged from this one. When Tara did come out of the rest room, she stopped in the kitchen to get a soda for herself and one for Willow and began circling the party to look for her girlfriend.

Rounding a corner, she stopped short as she spotted Willow holding court in front of a group of laughing friends. She looked natural and at-ease as the center of attention and Tara's heart did a flip.

It flipped the other direction as she took in the girl standing next to her lover. A woman stood next to Willow, very close at her elbow, hanging on her every word and laughing at all the right times. Tara took a few minutes to look at this newcomer to the party. The girl was about 5'10" with long curly black hair. Her eyes were dark enough to sparkle in the light of the party and she wore a pair of tastefully torn jeans, a wide belt, and a midriff top which showed off a toned and tanned stomach. Two thin silver chains were attached to the small ring in her navel and Tara gulped, then looked around to see if anyone had heard her. There you are, she thought. She knew this meeting was coming but hadn't expected it at the party.

She circled the group surrounding Willow and the mystery woman and came up on Willow's side. Willow was apparently just finishing a joke. "…whereas the Beauty Therapist uses Max Factor."

The crowd laughed easily and the dark haired girl followed up on Wilow's joke. "What's the difference between Max Factor and Quantum Theorist?" She waited a second before delivering the punch line. "Max Factor has models that work."

After the laughter died down, Tara gently touched Willow's arm and held out her soda. "I got you a soda, Sweetie." As she spoke, she looked the other woman in the eye, please to see her at least shift her weight to leave a few inches of space between Willow and herself. The newcomer took a drink from her own cup without taking her eyes off Tara. "You must be Tara," she said sticking her hand out in a way that made it impossible for Tara to avoid shaking it.

"Yes," Tara said simply before withdrawing her hand.

Willow looked back and forth between the two women. "Tara, this is Ant. Ant, Tara."

"Ant," Tara said, "of course. She of the peanut butter and bologna sandwiches for breakfast."

"Antoinette Custer," the dark haired woman explained, again extending her hand.

The crowd around the three women had started to drift off and Tara felt less particular about making a good impression. "Cleopatra was taken?"

Ant laughed at Tara's joke. "Actually yes." Tara continued staring at the girl and she continued. "I have a sister named Cleopatra and a brother named Paris. My father is a professor of Classics. My mother--History."

"How lovely," Tara said. "Willow's parents are professors too. It must be so nice to have something in common."

Willow looked back and forth between the two women as if trying to sort out the tension. "Tara," she said, turning to face her girlfriend, "this is Ant. She's the other researcher on my project."

"Yes," Tara said, setting down her drink and crossing her arms over her chest. "I know who Ant is. In fact, I think I've spoken to her on the phone."

Willow quirked up her eyebrow. "What? When did you talk to Ant on the phone?"

"I'm going to go get a drink and let you two talk," Ant finally said and drifted off into the party.

"When did you talk to Ant on the phone?"

Tara attempted to control her tone, not sure if her next words would come out as a scream or a cry. "When I've called you late at night."

Willow reached her hand out toward Tara but stopped when she realized that Tara wasn't moving hers, that they were still crossed firmly across her chest. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying why does she answer your phone and say that you're asleep or in the shower? Why do you know what she eats for breakfast?"

"I still don't know when those things happened," Willow shouted. She looked around and realized that people were looking at her. "Why are you being like this? This is insane. This is stupid."

"I knew we'd get there eventually," Tara shot back. "I'm stupid. You're a genius and I'm stupid. I don't even know how to play drinking games with atomic numbers!"

Willow huffed and reached out to take Tara's elbow and lead her into the hallway. "I'm not saying that you're stupid. I'm saying that these questions are stupid. I'm saying that this conversation is stupid."

"Which isn't at all like denying that what I'm saying is t-t-true!"

"What you're saying isn't true!"

"Leave with me."

"What?"

"Leave with me," Tara still had her arms crossed over her chest and motioned with her shoulder toward the room that held their coats. "Leave the party. Go to your apartment. Pack a bag and go home. Don't say goodbye to Ant. Don't work on your research until after the break."

"Why?"

"Haven't you been listening to this conversation?" Tara took a deep breath as she realized that she was screaming and that everyone within 20 feet could hear her. "You're so busy all the time. It's school, school, school. Then it's Ant, Ant, Ant. Go be with me." She pounded on her chest. "Just me."

"Nothing is going on with Ant!" Willow looked wildly around the party as she screamed.

"Not yet," Tara said very calmly.

Willow pursed her lips and crossed her arms over her chest. "First off, she's not even family. Second off, even if she was interested, I think I could withstand her wiles." She lowered her voice and whispered, "After all, it's not like she's Frank."

Tara recoiled as if slapped. "Frank? You're bringing up Frank? Nothing happened and you know it, Willow."

"I know you said nothing happened," Willow retorted. She shrugged back in the direction the two women had been standing when she introduced Tara to Ant. "Just like I'm saying that nothing happened with Ant."

Tara took a deep breath to control her voice. "I'm leaving now. Are you going with me?"

"No. I'm not." Willow answered before adding on. "Stay with me, Tara."

Tara turned from the redhead with tears in her eyes. She could barely see to find her coat in the spare bedroom. As she searched the pile, she had only one thought in her mind. She will come get me. As she found her coat and buttoned each button. She will come get me. She made her way to the front door and walked down the steps. With each one she thought, She will come get me.

Willow stood in the hallway watching the spot where Tara had been standing. Tara had left. She left her at a party. She'd be back in a few minutes and they could leave together. They could talk it out. Willow took a few deep breaths. All they each needed was a few minutes to calm down. To be rational. Tara would come back in a minute.

She was startled from her thoughts by Ant tapping her elbow and holding out a drink. "Are you ok?"

Willow shook her head. "Yeah. Fine. Finey McFine."

"Everyone is dancing." Ant led Willow back into the heart of the party.

Willow watched the door.

She'll come back in.

Tara stood in the front yard waiting for Willow.