Sitting outside the library, Tara, Teeny, Chrissy, Roberta and Sam relaxed on the steps slurping away at their ice pops after a long cramming session for History. It was yet another hot day and painful enough being inside, let alone doing homework on a Saturday morning. It was a relief to finally relax and have no more school obligations to ruin their weekend. Sam sat in a daze still confused over Roberta, she could usually read her best friend like a book but this time she truly didn't have a clue. This made her feel even worse about the situation and started analyzing every possible reason. Next to her Roberta was also off in a world of her own.
Teeny stared at the two and decided she couldn't be bothered asking either of them any question that might end in her having to advise them in their love lives, because of course that would be the only thing that they could let bother them on a weekend. Shrugging them off she turned to Tara and Chrissy. "I truly think that astrology has a great influence on us you know? Don't you? Look at this" Teeny pulled out a Cosmopolitan from her bag and flipped straight to the page she was looking for.
Tara laughed to herself, Teeny and Chrissy would never change and she loved that about her, there was nothing overly complex on the surface unlike Roberta and Sam.Urgh. The very thought of Roberta made her stomach turn; she couldn't start thinking about that now, not today anyway. Today was going to be fun despite what had happened a few nights ago. She turned back to Teeny's magazine and let her friend explain her future husband too her. Somehow Tara was a little more distracted by the beautiful woman on the front page of the Cosmo to pay any full attention.
"Maybe something has happened with Scott...again! Wow, that would be like the second biggest scandal of the year. Somehow I don't think even Scott Wormer could cause Roberta this much trivia though. Not again. But that doesn't even begin to explain Tara's weird mood. Oh wait!! Maybe Tara likes Scott AND so does Roberta....haha yeah ok like that would ever happen. Hmm...Or..."
Sam was pulled straight out of her mind babble as a sharp yet dull pain rang through her right arm. Roberta was standing over her with an impatient look covering her face. Chrissy stood behind her looking bored and she usually did.
"So, you gonna sit here all day with those weird facials or have we got some black cows to be drinking?" Teeny raised her eyebrow and put out her arm for Sam to stand up. Teeny linked arms with her and Chrissy and started walking towards Joey's Milk Bar. She waited a few seconds so they where a good meter away from Tara and Roberta, she'd noticed Sam's puzzled look and new there had to be some good gossip going around to be making Sam switch off that much during her Astrology speech.
"So, umm, anything on your mind? Any scandals I should know about? Other than the obvious tension between those two" She pointed towards the Blonde and Roberta ahead who were now across the street and so far apart they looked as if they had never met. "Nope, that's about it, I've never seen Roberta this worked up, and even Tara usually has something to say but she's totally switched off. It's not healthy; you know how shy she is already."
"Something is always bothering Roberta what's so special about this time" Chrissy said. Teeny giggled at how correct Chrissy was.
Tara had just turned the corner and was thankful to have some thinking space to herself; even it was for only a minute till they all arrived at Joey's. Everything was annoying her right now, even her hair blowing in front of her eyes despite it usually being the only thing she liked about herself. Her mother was the only one that ever complimented her, well her and...She sighed. This was hopeless.
She flopped into their usual space by the window hoping that Roberta wasn't going to be the next to walk in, unfortunately she saw her long black hair flow through the door and the awkward silence started once again. "Hey"
"Hey" Tara said awkwardly looking down at the table, Roberta could hardly see the lovely blue eyes that Tara had been hiding from her recently, they made her melt, he knees felt weak and then realized she hadn't breathed for a while.
She exhaled strongly trying to get rid of some tension and slid into the seat opposite Tara. They both glanced out the window, Teeny, Chrissy and Sam had stopped outside the new clothes store. Tara felt herself tense screaming in her head for her other two friends to hurry up when all Roberta felt was relief. "So, we Ahh...got through a lot of work hey?"
"Yeah, I guess, more than last week" Suddenly Tara realized the best thing to do right now was pretend that there was nothing to discuss, at least that's what Roberta seemed to be implying with the light conversation. Just when she was about to call the waitress they're all so intimidated by, to ask for a drink to stop the increasing dryness in her throat she was cut off.
"I'm sorry...I didn't, I mean, I...I don't know Iím just sorry I was a jerk and...I feel like such a jerk. I didn't mean to drop this big thing on you...I know I shouldn't have, and it kills me not having to talk to me...did I mention how much of a jerk I feel"
Roberta was hoping Tara was going to cut her off somewhere and tell her that it was all ok but she didn't. Roberta stopped there and looked down praying that Tara would say something. She couldn't stand the thought of loosing her as a friend, thinking about it made her feel queasy in the stomach.
Oh god don't throw up please don't throw up. Don't throw up, don't throw up just as she was about to slide out of her seat and run to the bathroom a comforting hand grabbed hers.
"Yeah...you were a jerk"
An uncomfortable silence passed through them and Roberta didn't know what to say, somehow she expected anything but that from Tara, nothing so blunt.
"You were expecting me to say it was Ok? You think because I confided in you about...that, that it was ok to...Ē
"No no, it wasn't of course it wasn't, but it felt like something I wanted to do...I was hoping you felt the same"
"Well I don't"
Roberta felt her heart being squeezed and stood on all at the same time, she couldn't breath and felt she was about to burst into tears at that very moment.
Tara was watching her friend and realized what agony she was in, how could she say something so horrible? If she had said that to her father she would be on the floor bleeding by now. Why was it suddenly so easy to deny one of her closest friends?
"I... Iím sorry I didn't mean it like...like...oh god..." Tears were spilling over her cheeks everything hurt inside she couldn't even speak. Roberta looked up at Tara and saw her own pain reflected. The both let the tears pour down.
Given a few minutes Roberta had finally managed to compose herself.
"I'm thinking maybe to some extend I new it wasn't what you wanted...I don't know why I...why I ...kissed you" She said the last part in a hushed tone incase anyone around heard.
"...I knew I was going to be rejected"
"Iím not rejecting you, but just because I tell you that, you know...I don't like boys. It doesn't mean Iím suddenly in love with every girl around me. It doesn't work like that"
"Yeah, but just because Iím into guys doesn't mean I donít, you know...like the occasional girl..." She gave a smile "or even lo..."
Tara looked uncomfortably away. "You don't mean that, we're sixteen and you're not like me. Anyway, there's someone. I mean I met someo.."
She was cut off by the door swinging open followed by Teeny's loud laughing.
"So I said I better get out of these wet clothes and into a dry martini! HAHAHA Don't you get it?" She looked at Sam and Chrissy hoping that one of them had understood the latest joke in Cosmo. But Sam was locked on Tara and Roberta looking like they had just been...crying? Chrissy moved over to the counter wanting to stay out of the friendship domestic.
"Are you ok?"
They both looked at each other without saying anything.