After a long emotional day Faith was really out of it. Buffy wanted to make love with her girlfriend, but Faith was acting not like Faith. When Buffy returned from taking her shower Faith was sitting on the floor playing with Buttercup. Buffy stopped in the doorway and watched her girlfriend, whose behavior seemed to be that of a little girl. Buffy watched with fascination her twenty-eight year old girlfriend revert back to that hurt child.
"Faith? Faith are you alright??" Buffy walked over and sat next to her. She went to touch Faith and the girl pulled back. Buffy pulled her hand back slowly. Oh god. What's going on? Shit I better call somebody. Shit she doesn't have any family. Okay think Buffy... Willow! I can call Willow. She's as close to a family that Faith has. Buffy's sudden movement caused Faith to jump. She pushed herself back and away from Buffy.
Buffy grabbed her cell and sat down next to Faith. She spoke in a hushed tone.
Willow's phone was vibrating. Willow went into her pants and flipped it open. Who could be calling me this late? she thought to herself. That was until she saw that it was Buffy's cell phone number showing. She heard Buffy's voice and knew something was wrong. As she listened to Buffy without even realizing it she began to tremble.
Tara could feel it and it woke her. Willow kissed her gently. She signed, "Baby we need to get home. Um, it's Faith... she's not doing so good. Buffy wants us there now. You don't have to come if you don't want. I know you're tired. I will be home as soon as I can."
Tara signed, "I'm coming with you. Just let me run to the bathroom." Tara hugged Willow while playing with red locks. She knew that always calmed Willow."Why don't you call Buffy back and let her know we'll be there in no time?" Tara signed before leaving the room. Willow flipped opened her phone and called Buffy back.
Tara walked in as Willow was pumping her fist into a pillow. She walked up behind Willow and slid her arms around her waist, kissing her cheek. "Will, I want you to try and stay calm until we find out everything that's going on," Tara signed. Willow turned back into Tara kissing her passionately. Tara blushed.
"U-Um okay but you better let me drive. You're shaking Will," Tara signed as she held Willow's hands to her chest. Willow's eyes were watering up. Tears were falling as she grabbed Tara pulling her into a strong hug. "Will? Will it's going to be okay. We'll go to your house and find out what's going on and deal with it then. No tears baby, please..." Tara signed as she planted kisses all over Wilow's face. Taking Willow's hand she lead her out the door and into the car.
At the first red light Tara signed, "Will, when we get there I will find out from Buffy what happened while you check on Faith." Willow shook her head in agreement.
But once inside Willow was frozen to her spot in front of Faith. Faith was talking like a child. She was cooing to her baby, trying to calm her down. "Hey now, no crying baby. Mommy is right here and I will never leave you like my daddy did me. NEVER!" she yelled. Buffy,Willow and Tara looked between each other not knowing what to do. It was Tara who stepped toward Faith.
She sat down slowly next to Faith being careful not to startle her. She reached out and gently stroked her back. It took a few minutes but Faith seem to calm down. "M-mommy?" Faith squeaked out. Buffy was translating everything Faith was saying. "Oh god Mommy don't l-leave me. Please don't go away. I promise to be good. I promise," Faith was crying. As was Willow and Buffy.
But Tara was the rock that Faith needed. Lifting Faith's chin Tara looked deep into a pair of brown eyes so full of pain. "Ssshhhhh..." Simply looking into Faith's eyes for what seemed like forever for Wilow and Buffy, Tara calmed herself, tuning out everything and everyone around but Faith "I-i-it's okay I'm here."
Faith was looking into a pair of blue eyes that... Oh god mom? Mom is that really you? No my mom is gone. Isn't she? Wait what the hell... Little Faith has now entered the psyche. Faiths' voice was small. She squinted and wiped her eyes as to convince herself she was only dreaming. But after blinking a few times they were still there. Those blue calming eyes penetrating her very soul.
Faith threw herself forward hugging Tara so hard they both almost tumbled over. Tara held Faith as tight as she thought the child needed. Faith took a deep breath and whispered into her mother's ear. Of course Tara, being deaf, couldn't hear. But Buffy had taken a seat besides Tara heard part of what Faith had said. She was signing but also trying not to let her cries escape from her throat.
"Mommy? Mommy why did you have to go? Is heaven nice? Oh mommy I miss you. They wouldn't... I didn't say bye. I'm sorry mommy. I was so mad at you that I didn't say goodbye to you. Oh mommy I'm sorry. I let you go and didn't say goodbye. Was I bad mommy? I let you go by yourself and didn't say goodbye to you to make you mad. Don't be mad at me. I miss taking care of you." Willow was crying too.
"Buttercup..." Tara softly called Faith. Faith looked up right away, into blue caring eyes. "Mommy? Oh mommy I don't want you to leave me," Faith was now begging her mother. Tara knew she needed to be strong, not just for Faith but for Willow too. Swallowing hard she spoke the words Buttercup so needed to finally hear.
"Always with you my Buttercup. I'm not mad at you baby. Mommy could never be mad at you. Faith look at me," Tara said in a calm voice. Lifting her head little Faith looked into her mommy's blue eyes and listened. "Mommy needed to go. It wasn't your fault baby. Mommy promises you it wasn't your fault. I had to go. I'm sorry I had to leave you. Don't be mad at me."
Little Faith jumped to her feet. She reached out and slowly touched her mommy's face. "Mad at you?" she looked confused. "Mommy why would I be mad at you? I was the one who was always bad. Thats why you left because I was bad," she stated softly. Tara grabbed Faith pulling her into her. Holding tight to Faith's face she looked deep into her little lost brown eyes.
"Don't ever say that again. Do you hear me? You did nothing wrong. You weren't a bad little girl. Mommy never wants to hear you say that again, you understand?" Tara shouted.
Both Buffy and Willow were up on their feet ready to end this. Then Buffy pulled Willow back as Faith responded. "Mommy you're mad at me? Oh mommy I won't ever say it again. I promise. I swear I won't."
"No Faith mommy wants you to not feel it too. Do you understand what I mean?" Tara asked as Little Faith scrunched up. Little Faith's breathing was becoming ragged as she slightly pulled away from her mother. She dropped her head. She stood that way for a minute or two.
Tara thought she made a mistake. Tears started rolling down her face. Suddenly a finger was there catching them. Little Faith stood tall and finally spoke. "Your not mad at me are you? It really wasn't my fault. You had to go. God needed you more I guess. That's okay if it was god who needed you." Taking Tara's face in her little hands... "I'm glad you're in heaven mommy. I can talk to you now. And you're not mad so you'll answer me. You should g-go now right?" Faith asked as she hugged her Mommy. Tara simply shook her head yes.
Little Faith loosened her vice grip on her mother's neck and stepped back and waved goodbye with a smile but also with tears running down her cheeks. All of a sudden Little Faith staggered back and passed out.
Buffy was there to catch Faith as she was crashing. Willow was by her side too. The EMT guy had just come in and ran over to her. "Look we have the gurney right here we should get your friend..."
Buffy cut him off. "My girlfriend. She's my girlfriend."
The EMT guy corrected himself. "Right. We should get your girlfriend to the hospital." He and his partner asked questions before even attempting to move Faith. Once her info was given then they moved her to the gurney.
"Buffy I need to see about Tara but we will be right behind you," Willow spoke. The EMTs and Buffy walked out and took off for the hospital.
"Are you alright?" Willow signed. Tara was staring where Faith was laying only minutes ago.
"Come on. We have to go. We have to..." she signed.
Willow agreed. "Yeah we have to get to the hospital." Tara shook her head yes.
In the music shop Dreamlover sat waiting. Waiting for what she didn't know but she knew she couldn't leave. Her instincts told her something was happening, that she needed to talk to Tara. She knew it was late so she decided to stop by her place in the morning.