Return to The Wiccans Grim: Valley Girls on a Dragon

The Wiccans Grim

Author: Trista
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters are property of Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy.

So the next night they made it to Glorificus's lair.

"How do you know this is the place?" Fred asked.

"Duh," Willow said, pointing to a huge sign that read 'Glory's Lair; if your name is Willow, congrats on making it this far'. They entered the lair to see Glorificus smiling gleefully.

"So nice of you guys to join me! Sorry, but no boys allowed." Then Angel and Gunn vanished.

"What's with all the vanishing?" Willow said. "Anyway, give me back Tara!" Just then Tara and Faith appeared, tied to chairs bound and gagged.

"Faith!" Fred cried, she ran to her beloved but wham ran right into an invisible wall.

"The only way to reach them," Glory said, "is to answer a riddle."

"That's it?" Willow asked. "Man the author just keeps getting weirder and weirder."

"The riddle," Glory said, "is about my fave show, Laguna Beach!"

"Oh," Willow said, "you mean you watch Laguna Bitch? My fave show is Buffy the Vampire Slayer, can you imagine Buffy a slayer? - (remember in this story Buffy's a valley girl).

"Don't you ever call the show that!" Glory yelled. "Anyway, the riddle is, what Buffy character has the same name as a girl on Laguna Beach?" (This answer is true, by the way, my cousin told me; along with Willow I hate Laguna Beach).

"Ask a stupider question," Fred said. "It's Tara."

"How did you know that?" Glory asked.

"Faith watches that show all the time, and she told me all about it," Fred explained. Then Willow grabbed a sword off the wall and rammed it into Glory's back.

"Back-stabber," Glory's last words were, as her blood spilled onto the floor. The spell was broken and Tara and Faith were set free.

"Oh Willow," Tara said, "I knew you'd save me, I love you!"

"Me too!" Willow said.

"I love you too," Faith said to Fred.

"Me too," Fred said, "even though you are the biggest slut ever!"

"Oh great," came a man's voice.

"Who are you?" Willow asked the man.

"I am Joss Whedon, the so-called creator of Buffy, and I hired Glory to kill you guys, and make Willow a vamp in an ep called The Wish, and at the end of season six I was going to kill Tara... oh well, better luck next show. But Glory really did love you Faith."

Willow and Tara had a double wedding with Fred and Faith. Angel and Gunn are still working at Wolfram and Hart. Glory is still dead (yay). Harmony also died, she got turned into a vamp and had to give up her reign as Valley Girl of the North. And Faith got to take Harmony's spot as Valley Girl of the North. And thay all lived happily ever after... or did they?

"What's that supposed to mean?" Willow yelled.


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