Return to The Wiccans Grim: The Not-A-Princess and the Cow

The Wiccans Grim

Author: Trista
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters are property of Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy.

They came upon a cute li'l pink house covered with flowers and pink pretty ponies (think My Little Pony only pinker). Willow knocked on the door. The door came open and a voice as sweet as the days were long said, "Hello, welcome to my Palace of Pink!"

"Catchy," Willow said. "Can you help us please?"

Willow and Tara entered the house - I mean the Pink Palace - to see a girl dressed in pink (of course) - think of the fluffiest pink dress, and this dress would put that one to shame!

"Who the hey are you?" Willow asked.

"I am Glorificus, everyone just calls me Glory. How can I help you?"

"Yeah," Tara said, "I'd like one order of french fries."

"Good one," Willow said. "What we really came here for, we need you to turn my girlfriend back into a human."

"I know the drill," Glory said. "You need a kiss from your true love."

"I heard that!" Faith said.

"Sorry," Glorificus said.

"Um, excuse me?" Glory said.


"Please don't call me 'Glorificus,' it's such an evil name. Glory's a much nicer name."

Well excuse me, the narrator said.

So Glory led them to a pasture of cows and said, "Okay Tara, go join the other cows. Willow will take care of the rest."

"Why the hey did you do that?" Willow said. "It'll take forever for me to find her!!!"

"Good luck," Glory said. "May the Powers That Be watch over you, and break a hoof." And then Glory left.

So Willow realized the only way to find Tara was to call out her name until she answered. But all of the cows started neighing (that's right, I said neighing - it's a fairy tale, what do you think the the cows would have said, 'moo'? I don't think so, not in my fairy tale!)

"Great," Willow said. "Now I can't hear her, that's just my luck. After this is over I'm going to have a long talk with the writer of this story." So Willow began kissing all the cows until one cow turned into another girl.

"I'm Kennedy," the girl said, "and for rescuing me you get to marry me."

"Sorry," Willow said. "You're very beautiful, but Tara's my true love!"

"Call me!" Kennedy said.

After a while of kissing more cows Willow finally found Tara (Tara was the only cow mooing). Willow kissed her, and she broke the spell!

"I told you you were my true love!" Tara said.

"Yes," Willow said, "I realize that now. As soon as this is all over you and I will be wed!"

"Yay!" Tara said.

"Let's go," Willow said, "I've got a theory..."

"That it's bunnies?" Tara asked.

"No," Willow said.

"I don't know where that came from," Tara said. "Let's just keep going."

To be continued? Of course it will be continued - what, you think that I'd just leave you hanging? Think again!

Continue to Thy End?

Return to Story Archive
Return to Main Page