Return to Geek Love Chapter Sixteen

Geek Love

Author: watson
Rating: PG-13 to R
Disclaimers: BtVS characters and concepts belong to Mutant Enemy, Fox, The WB, UPN and others. Densha Otoko characters and concepts belong to Fuji Television, Toho Ltd and others.

"So, you didn't have work?"

"I can explain."

Tara took the few remaining steps that closed the distance between her and Willow. Each step felt like she had heavy ankle manacles pulling her in the opposite direction. She took out the blue envelope that she had been clutching in her hand. "What's in this envelope? Something work related?'

"No, it's our tickets for the convention."

"You lied to me."

"I, I don't know what to say."

"What do you expect me to say?"

"I'm really sorry."

Tara looked around her and tried to take in the stall display, the banners for the con and the attire of the people milling around the area. "What's all this?"

"It's a comic convention, the most important one in the year."

"Is it important to you?"

"It's very-- but you're important too! I mean ..."

"You could have told me."

"I didn't think you'd understand."

"You didn't even try! And you decide that telling me you have to work is better than the truth?"

"It was a difficult choice."

"Why did you even put yourself into a situation where you had to choose? We could have talked about it and figured something out."


Tara looked at Willow and could only see pain and hurt. Her chest suddenly felt very tight, she was overcome with the familiar feeling of needing to escape.

"I'm a fool. I thought you were different from the others. I, I don't think we should see each other anymore, Willow." And with that she walked away, tears in her eyes and her entire body shivering. It was as much as she could do to keep herself together.

"Tara ..." Willow pleaded.

Tara turned back and they looked at each other. Hurt and sadness were all that was left in her eyes. She blinked slowly, and walked away from Willow again. She didn't look back.

#geeklove [ ]: geeks need love too
<hiddenred> she hates me. she doesn't want to see me anymore

<justskippy> What happened? weren't you meeting her this weekend?


<hiddenred> she came to OW Con to bring me something I lost and saw me in full geek mode

<harley> you didn't tell her you were going to the con?

<hiddenred> no. I made an excuse, said that I needed to work, can't meet her for Wicked


<justskippy> you did what?

<harley> oh, Willow

<hiddenred> a big fat lie. but then I left the tickets at her brother's restaurant and she brought them herself

<hippiegrrl> this is not good, Willow

<hiddenred> and she saw me and Xander and Andrew drooling over a Mina comic, she must hate me!

<wattysbrain> it was the newest edition with the skimpy costumes wasn't it? can you blame her for being outraged?

<harley> don't you think it's the fact that you lied about going to the con rather than you being a geek that made her mad?

<justskippy> may she's mad that you looking at those comics *and* the lie about work?

<hiddenred> does it matter? won't fix anything

<wattysbrain> have you tried explaining it her?

<hiddenred> she didn't want to listen, it's probably best if I never show my face in front of her again. I should have known, we live in different worlds, I have no business being involved with someone like her, I was delusional

<uberqueen> so you're giving up, just like this? After *everything* you've gone through? Are you ready to go back to the bumbling geek who was fretting about which restaurant to take her?

<hiddenred> what can I do?

<harley> apologize? fight for her? Tell her you're very sorry and she means so much to you that you promise you won't lie to her again?

<hiddenred> sigh. I'm not sure I can. I'm not sure I can get over the hurt if she rejects me again

- snip -

"You're a fucking idiot, Willow," Faith hissed through gritted teeth. The other people at the internet café glared at her but looked away when she defiantly stare back.

"Why do people lie all the time?" Tara emptied half her glass with one gulp and reached to pour more out of the wine bottle. She frowned as she was only able to shake a few stray droplets out.

"Aren't you drinking a little too much?" Donnie placed his hand on hers to stop her from opening a fresh bottle.

"It's okay, I'm fine," Tara insisted.

"Really?" he raised his eyebrow quizzically. "Don't you think you're being too hard on her?"

"Lies. I can't forgive lies," Tara declared. She slid slowly down Donnie's couch, resting her head on the cushion, and was out like a wink.

Donnie knelt down next to his sister and straightened a loose strand of hair lovingly. He pull her feet up to the couch, took her shoes off and carefully covered her with a blanket.

"Rosenberg, if you don't come here within five seconds, you're fired!" Willow's boss shouted at her from his office.

"Leave her alone. What do you want?" Faith. It was Faith who came to Willow's rescue.

Willow stared blankly at her screen. She hadn't heard a single word of that exchange.

"She's playing with you, Tara," Anya said angrily.

"I can't help thinking that I reacted too strongly. It was only one small lie. It's not like she's been in prison or has three kids or anything," Tara sighed.

"Small lies lead to bigger lies. I told you she's not the one, she's a complete --"

"Anya, stop it."

"You stop it. You're going soft on her. Either forgive her and run back into her arms or if you're going to cut the chord, do it properly. You'll get hurt even more if you do things halfway."

Tara sighed again.

"Anyway, did you enjoy the musical on Saturday?" she tried to change the subject.

"Musical? I thought you gave the tickets to Cordy," Anya frowned.

"No, I gave them to Donnie. I'm not sure, he didn't mention anything. May be he gave them to someone else," Tara was puzzled.

You will always run into the last person you want to see.

Faith had to physically haul Willow out of her chair at 6pm. Willow had gotten nothing done all day. Faith wondered if it was karma coming back at her for all the times that Willow covered for her.

"I'll work a million times harder tomorrow," Willow had the sense to say.

"A million times of nothing is still nothing," Faith growled.

"Sorry," Willow muttered.

"Forget it. I don't know why I'm doing this. I'm turning soft in my old age," Faith complained.

They followed the throng of office workers leaving the building and walked toward the train station.

"Faith!" Faith turned toward the source of the voice and broke out in a grin.

"Donnie, hi!" Faith greeted Donnie enthusiastically. Overly enthusiastically, if anyone noticed. Willow didn't. She was busy trying to burrow into a hole; Donnie was with Tara.

"What a coincidence," Donnie gave Faith a hug. Tara was just behind him and her face fell when she spotted Willow. It took all her effort not to turn around and walk away there and then.

"Isn't it?" Faith grinned.

"We're just going for dinner. Want to join?" Donnie smiled back at Faith.

"Donnie ..." Tara hesitated.

"You don't mind?" Faith asked.

"Of course not, it'll be my treat," Donnie said.

Meanwhile, Willow was inching away. "Um, why don't you guys go on ahead? I should head home," she made an excuse and started to walk off.

Faith's arm snaked out and grabbed hold of her elbow, not letting her move. "You're COMING too," she whispered fiercely in Willow's ear.

They made their way to a Vietnamese restaurant nearby. Faith and Donnie sat opposite each other and carried on a lively conversation. Willow and Tara, on the other hand, were shrouded in awkward silence.

They ordered an appetizer assortment to share. Tara reached for a piece of beef roll at the same time as Willow and their forks clashed.

"Sorry, please," Tara jerked her fork away and she indicated that Willow should take the piece of food.

"No, please. You were there first," Willow put her fork down on the table and refused.

"It's yours," Tara said.

"Really, I don't want it," Willow replied.

Neither reached for the item again. At the end it was Faith who took the last piece.

Their main course arrived shortly and at least two people were focusing on their plate too much.

"It's Tara's birthday soon," Donnie looked around at the silent table and announced.

Willow looked up in interest.

"Donnie!" Tara protested.

"When is it?" Faith asked.

"In two weeks' time, 16th," Donnie continued, ignoring Tara's glare. "I'm throwing a party for her at the restaurant, you should come."

Faith beamed. "Sure!" she replied.

"What about you, Willow?" Donnie turned to Willow.

Willow looked mortified. "Um, I ..." she stammered.

"Donnie, please. Don't make a big deal out of it," Tara almost wanted to clamp her hands over his mouth.

"Okay, okay," he raised his hands in mock defeat. "Talking about the restaurant, I need to go back. I left Wesley in charge, he's probably praying to his grandmother for my return." He excused himself. "Nice seeing you again, Faith. And you too, Willow."

"Oh, I remembered! I have to be someplace too. Later, dudes," Faith pushed her chair back, gathered her bag and was running after Donnie before either Willow or Tara had the chance to react.

They wouldn't meet each other's eyes at all. Willow was wringing her hands and Tara had to sit on hers to prevent them from shaking.

"Tara, let me apologize," Willow took a very deep breath and tried to address Tara. But she couldn't make eye contact, instead she focused on the tablecloth patterns.

Tara reached for a glass of water and took a slow drink before replying. "It doesn't matter anymore. I don't plan on seeing you again, Willow."

"Do you hate me so much?" Willow sobbed, feeling a huge lump in her throat.

"I don't hate you. I just ... I just can't."

"Did it mean anything? The time we spent together, Tara. It meant something?"

Again Tara took her time before answering. "It meant a lot. Too much. Which is why I can't ..." her voice fading to a whisper.

#geeklove [ ]: geeks need love too
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[22.26] *** Topic is: she was our last hope
[22.26] *** Topic set by wattysbrain [Mon Oct 2 19:45:21 2006]
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<harley> let's agree on san francisco

<wattysbrain> sounds good, I'll check out hotels

<wattysbrain> Hi will

<justskippy> Hi Willow

<uberqueen> Willow!

<harley> Hey dude, thought you'd disappeared on us

<hiddenred> hi everyone

<wattysbrain> wow you're late

<hiddenred> Faith and I ran into *Tara* and her brother after work, we went to a restaurant

<hippiegrrl> ouch, that must have been uncomfortable *hugs*

<hiddenred> tell me about it, Donnie and Faith made some lame excuse and left us alone, I was shaking with panic

<hiddenred> I've only read about heartbreak before, I never realized there's physical pain too

<justskippy> did you talk?

<hiddenred> a little, I tried to bring up the thing about the fib, but she says it doesn't matter, she doesn't want to talk to me

<hippiegrrl> not even to accept your apology?

<hiddenred> I asked her if she hates me. She said no, and that being with me meant a lot. What should I do? I don't want to give up on her

<harley> then don't

<uberqueen> fight fight fight. try to find another opportunity to meet up with her

<hiddenred> it'll be her birthday in 2 weeks, Donnie invited me to her party

<justskippy> there you go! perfect

<hiddenred> yes, but I don't think she'll want to see me there

<uberqueen> do YOU want to see her?

<hiddenred> I guess so

<harley> don't guess. Yes or No?

<justskippy> wow Car you're so large with the butch

<harley> I'm large with other things as well

*uberqueen has mental image of Car's ample rack

<hippiegrrl> lol but to the matter at hand. Why don't you call her at midnight, Willow?

<hiddenred> she'll think I'm rude, calling so late

<hippiegrrl> it's her birthday!

<wattysbrain> my ex-gf called me on the dot of midnight too. sigh

<harley> tell her you want to meet her, to give her a birthday present

<justskippy> you did get her a present didn't you?

<wattysbrain> if not, get it asap

<hiddenred> she'll probably say no

<harley> then you'll have to tap into that assertiveness you displayed way back when you rescued her from the drunk on the train

<hiddenred> gods I don't know if I'll be able to do that again, it was a freak one-off incident

<hippiegrrl> but it got you Tara. And yes you screwed up. But no it's not too late to try to get her back

<harley> I'll repeat: do you want to see her? do you want to get her back?

<justskippy> Car's butchiness is one thing, but in the end you need to decide for yourself. We'll always be here to support you, but the decision is yours

<uberqueen> we're your personal cheerleaders whatever you decide

<hiddenred> yes yes I want yes

<hippiegrrl> good for you, Willow!

<justskippy> so now you need to find a way to tell her you're sorry, and tell her how you feel

<hiddenred> oh, that's the hard part

<uberqueen> you've come this far, take a deep breath and just do it, can you do it?

<justskippy> will you call her?

<hiddenred> I think ... no, I will

<harley> if you don't, I'll squash you like a lowly insect

<hiddenred> gulp, thanks for the pep talk, gang

<harley> anytime, pumpkin

<hiddenred> I'll talk to y'all later

<hippiegrrl> night Will

<uberqueen> night

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