Batteries Not Included

Author: terra21
Rating: R
Disclaimer: These are not my characters; I just borrow them from time to time.
Summary: Willow is desperately trying to get a holiday frazzled Tara to open a "special" present.
Author's notes: Thanks again to the wonderful writer's that make up this group. I've enjoyed it thoroughly. I've learned so much about grammar and story structure from you guys. Thanks to Artemis for the great graphics. And thanks always to my are the best.
Required Elements: Ten lords a' leaping, cleaning, and batteries not included.
Feedback: Please leave feedback on the Once More With Fruitcake thread on the Kitten Board.

"She doesn't even try to cover it up anymore." Frustration permeated Tara's voice as she stood at the stove making breakfast like she did every morning. Dawn and Anya sat at the bar in the Summer's kitchen listening to her rant as they awaited the home cooked meal. "I mean, she used to try and hide it at least, now she just does it and prances away like she's proud or something." Tara turned and slapped down a plate of odd shaped pancakes in front of Dawn emphasizing her annoyance.

"I dunno," Dawn blinked her eyelids quickly at Tara's unusual display of exasperation then shrugged her shoulders, "I'd probably be proud too. It's amazing how such a small body can hold that much po..."

Tara cut her off in a fit of continued agitation. "I knew in the beginning that there would be cleaning up behind her to do since she was so inexperienced, but now that she's older and more accomplished I expect more from her," she affirmed with a nod as she stood with her hands on her hips.

"Yeah I thought she'd outgrow it too," the teenager replied as she smeared peanut butter on top of her pancakes.

"The last thing I need to worry about is cleaning up another one of her messes today. We have the whole house to get ready for the dinner party tomorrow night and she's upstairs making a bigger mess as we speak."

"At least she's not making it in the middle of your bed like she did a few years ago," Dawn said trying to be helpful.

Instead the remark wound Tara up even more. "Ohhh, she better not try that trick again. I'll tan her hide and she knows it."

Anya, who had sat quietly reading the financial section of the Sunday paper until now, piped up, "Well, what do you expect from a pussy?"

Dawn and Tara stared blankly at one another.

Willow overheard the last bit of her lover's remarks and Anya's question as she approached the kitchen from the hallway, the image of Tara having her bent over the end of their bed spanking her naked ass zipped through her mind. The color of her face matched her hair by the time she entered the room. "What are you guys talking about?" She asked nervously as she kissed Tara on the cheek. She wouldn't be telling to them about last night would she? She searched Tara's big blue eyes for explanation but only found aggravation.

"We're talking about that little furry monster that you've created upstairs," Tara replied as she pointed an accusatory finger at Willow's chest.

"What monster, I...I...I haven't been practicing any spells this morning."

"Hello? The four legged feline that keeps stinking up the house?" Anya blurted.

"Oh," Willow sighed heavily in relief. "Miss Kitty, you're talking about Miss Kitty."

"Yes, your Miss Kitty did number two and neglected to cover it up, again. It has the whole upstairs smelling funky and we have to have this place spotless and smelling un-funky by tomorrow morning," Tara declared as she returned to the stove to make Willow's pancakes.

"Don't worry. I'll clean it up and I'll even have a little talk with Miss Kitty to boot," Willow said as she slid onto one the barstools. She had not seen Tara this tense in quite a while, yet she understood why. It was Tara's first time preparing "the big Christmas dinner" and in some way it was her first time being the hostess.

In fact, Thanksgiving had been a small affair. Buffy had made it clear that she would not be setting foot into the kitchen to prepare anything this year for the holidays. Giles flew home to England; it was an American holiday after all. Xander and Anya choose to brave the Harris family get together. So Tara made a few dishes and baked a pheasant for Willow, Buffy and Dawn. Later that night, Tara told Willow that she wanted to have a big Christmas Eve dinner. "One like before Joyce passed away." She claimed that it just didn't feel like the holidays without a huge gathering of family and friends. She was right, it didn't, and all of them felt it.

Unfortunately for Tara, all of the Scoobies were too busy to help with the housework today. Everyone that is, except for Willow. That meant besides having dinner to prepare and the cleaning to do Tara also had to deal with her wife. A wife that was so excited about her Christmas gifts for Tara this year that she had spent most of the last two weeks devising plans to get Tara to open the gifts. Tara fidgeted just thinking about the problems she would have keeping Willow focused on the immense amount of cleaning facing them today. Her wife was way more concerned with getting her to open her gifts, one in particular for some reason. Tara decided the best way to deal with this issue would be to keep Willow preoccupied with something she loved to do.

"Baby?" Tara said sweetly as she flipped a pancake.


"Do you think you could make a few lists for me?"

Willow lit up with delight. "Absolutely!" She squirmed in her chair with anticipation. "What do you need? A word document with bullet points, a spreadsheet with different columns for details, or oooohhh maybe a checklist?"


Tara turned, smiling like a jackass, with a plate of hot pancakes and sat them down in front of her lover. "I think a checklist would be great. I need a grocery list and a To-Do list for things around the house." That should keep her busy for a few hours.

Willow had already booted up her Mac by the time Tara returned to the bar with her own breakfast in hand.

Tara breezed through the kitchen ever so often the rest of the morning, rattling off things for Willow to put on the lists, and by lunchtime the girl still sat pecking away at her keyboard. On her last trip to the kitchen Tara peeped over Willow's shoulder to find that her wife was shopping internet stores. "I thought you were working on my checklists?"

"Heeeeyyyy, no sneaking up on the unsuspecting hacker!"

Tara giggled and pecked Willow's precious little perturbed face. "That doesn't look like hacking to me, looks more like shopping."

Willow grinned and shifted in her seat at the affection from her lover. "I'm just checking out some sale items. I still haven't gotten a gift for Dawnie. I'm thinking about going out tomorrow morning for some last minute presents."

"Why don't you go today?" Tara said as she placed a few items in the sink to be washed.

"Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"Noooo, why would you think that?" Tara turned and propped against the counter trying to look innocent and failing miserably. Willow moved quickly to pin her lover against the counter. She slowly placed a single kiss on Tara's lips without closing her eyes. Drawing back slightly, Willow stared into her lover's blue eyes, "Hmmm, only because you've had me working all morning on To-Do lists in which you've completed half the tasks already."


Knowing that she'd been caught, Tara made a wicked attempt to distract Willow. She lowered her face letting her eyelids fall shut for just a moment before she fluttered them back open displaying a sexy stare, a stare that made Willow melt instantly. Tara began her seduction by sliding her hands up over her own breasts and unbuttoning the top button of her blouse. Willow's eyes followed the route of Tara's fingers closely as if she were in a trance.

"Not every task has been completed though," Tara spoke in a sultry voice, making sure she emphasized certain words. "I believe there a few things I've yet to attend." She moved her open palm down Willow's stomach until she reached her lover's apex, squeezing her mound firmly. Willow sucked in a breath as Tara's other hand burrowed deep into her red hair. Tara gently pulled Willow closer and lightly swirled her tongue around the outside of the girl's ear. Willow shivered and jerked her head to the side.

Admittedly, Tara knew just how to turn Willow on; however, on this particular day Willow wasn't going to let Tara's vixen-y ploy sideline her from her pre-Christmas plans. "Before you attend to those other things, I think you should open one of your presents," Willow coaxed.

Between small kisses pressed along Willow's neck Tara responded, "You wouldn' ruin...the Christmas opening presents early sweetie...would you?"

"But baby, I'm Jewish. There is no Christmas spirit to ruin for me." Willow closed her eyes trying to keep her mind on the gift she wanted so badly for Tara to open instead of the soft luscious lips on her skin and the growing wetness between her thighs.

"What about for me?" Tara moved her attention from one side of Willow's sleek neck to the other, smiling all the while. "I love waking up early on Christmas morning and opening my presents." She ran her tongue ever so slowly from the hollow of Willow's neck to the tip of her chin. She felt Willow's fingers dig into her bottom, a sure sign that the redhead had all but forgotten about being deceived. Yet in the midst of her seduction Tara was finding it very hard to contain herself. She pushed her breasts into Willow's chest and released a heavy sigh.

"You know, you may just find that this present will help you attend to things that need to be attended to before Christmas morning." Willow replied, desperation saturating her voice. Tara, keen to her lover's body, focused her tender kisses on the underside of Willow's jaw line, a course of action that would surely send her love over the edge. Indeed it did, unable to stand the torture any longer Willow dipped down to capture Tara's lips, engaging her sexy wife in a playful tongue battle. The two girls openly groped one another standing at the kitchen counter. Willow used her knee to part Tara's legs. Once open she lowered her hips, thrusting upwards and grinding her thigh against Tara's center at the same time. The kiss, that had sensually deepened, was broken when Tara withdrew moaning loudly in response to Willow's rocking motions.

"Where's the present?" Tara gasped.

"Bedroom," Willow answered quickly before sucking Tara's bottom lip back into her mouth.

Screw Christmas spirit.

"Let's go," Tara whispered breathlessly. In a lustful daze she reasoned that opening one present couldn't dash all of her holiday cheer. The yearning in her center decided for her. Besides, she thoroughly needed to relieve some holiday tension. She pushed Willow back into the bar forcefully and moved in stride to reinitiate their kiss. Her hands went under Willow's pajama top brushing the skin on her sides briefly then around to the front to massage her lover's breast.

Willow didn't let Tara sidetrack her for very long before she was pushing the girl towards the hallway and eventually up the staircase. They giggled and groped one another more while abandoning different articles of clothing along the way.

Upon arrival in the bedroom, Willow immediately dove under the bed for Tara's special present. She had hid it there two weeks ago. Nightly she begged, pleaded and tried to trick Tara into opening it with no avail. Finally, today, her lover succumbed.

Tara took advantage of Willow's bottom poised in the air landing a firm smack across the panty-clad cheeks.

"Oooo," Willow resounded with a start. "Ouch," rang out afterwards as her head hit one of the slats underneath the bed.

"Oh, I'm sorry baby," Tara cooed. She sat on the side of the bed and rubbed Willow's cheeks until the girl extricated herself from underneath it. Tara couldn't help but laugh out loud as Willow sat up frowning while rubbing the back of her head. She was holding the most pitifully wrapped present Tara had ever seen.

Tara decided quickly that Willow must have used an entire roll of scotch tape on this one present alone. The silver and red wrapping paper was crumpled and matted on both ends of the package. The bow, the poor bow, was a white shoestring; it had been plastered in the middle of the box.

Willow, oblivious to being mocked, thrust the package in Tara's lap. "I hope you like it."

As Tara began to tear the paper away, she looked back and forth from Willow and the present several times, noting the gaining excitement on her lover's face with each discarded shred. She studied the package being unveiled in her hands; a glimpse of a phallic object indicated to her that this present was of the naughty variety. She grinned widely and stole a sexy glance at Willow who was still on her knees beside the bed. She removed the last piece of paper and turned the box over; it was obvious that the item inside was a vibrator. Willow had chosen the stylish yet affordable Eager Beaver. Tara burst into giggles as she read the manufacturer's name, Ten Lords a Leaping, Inc. "Kinda makes you wonder if this thing for women," she teased while pointing at the name and shoving the box towards Willow at the same time.

"Do you like it?" Willow asked in anticipation, ignoring Tara's question.

"Of course I do," Tara held her hand out, "C'mere you." She lay back on the bed pulling Willow on top of her. "It's a great present baby, thank you," she whispered. Every time their bodies melded together like this, she knew Willow would be the only woman to ever lie in her arms.

Willow placed a gentle kiss on Tara's lips that soon led to uncontrollable writhing. Tara pushed against Willow's shoulders, flipping the smaller girl on her back. Breaking the kiss, Tara propped herself up, leaving only her nipples touching Willow's chest. She stared into Willow's emerald green eyes and at a lingering pace dragged the hard nubs across her lover's smaller breasts and over her stomach. Willow let out a long sigh and let her legs fall open for Tara to move between them. However, when Tara's breasts reached Willow's upper thighs, she stood up. "I've got to use the restroom," she said as she turned and walked away. A swift hit in her back with a pillow, along with an expletive, accompanied her out the door, to which she released an evil throaty chuckle.

With Tara out of the room Willow took the opportunity to ready her present for use. She removed the plastic wrapped object from the box and tried in vain to open it. Applying as much torque as possible, she grunted and grumbled under her breath at the petulant packaging. Giving up on any human means of breaking the seal she dug through the nightstand drawer in search of a worthy tool. "Ah ha," she exclaimed when she found a pair of nail clippers. She fumbled and fought with the plastic until at last she freed the vibrator. She absently pushed all the wrappings off the bed and onto the floor as she inspected the object carefully.

The On/Off switch was strategically placed at the base of the vibrator. Willow decided to test the device out and slid the control to the "On" position. Nothing happened. She toggled the lever several times but the "tool" never responded. Her bottom lip ran out in disappointment and as a last result she banged it against the nightstand. A good ole jostling might help, she thought.

"I knew you didn't like boys anymore sweetie, but this is a little extreme don't ya think," Tara said while standing in the doorway with a cocked brow.

"Ha, very funny, it's not working," Willow replied; her forehead was furrowed in disappointment.

Tara crossed the distance to the bed kicking through more stuff to clean up and picked the box up off the floor. Underneath the Ten Lords a Leaping, Inc. logo in 1/8th the font size, were the words BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED, "says here that the batteries are not included."

"Uh, that's not right. They should at least put them in the box with the darn thing. Now your Christmas present is all spoiled." Willow pouted.

Tara took the vibrator from Willow's hands and laid it on the nightstand. "Baby, I love the present and we can use it later." She pushed a frowning Willow back on the bed and lay down beside her. She caught and held Willow's gaze. Gently, she took Willow's hand and slid it down her body. She pressed one of her lover's fingers into her own slick opening, and then withdrew it smoothly. Tara closed her eyes at the intimate contact and took a slow, deep breath.

Willow groaned when she felt the wetness between her lover's thighs.

Tara opened her eyes, instantly meeting Willow's aroused gaze. Their eyes remained locked as Tara brought Willow's coated finger to her mouth. She wrapped her lips around the soaking digit, savoring the flavor of her own juices.

Tara spoke in a low husky voice, "You already have everything you need to satisfy me."


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