I found your letter when I got on the plane. As soon as the seatbelt sign was turned off, I went into my backpack for a pen and some paper so I could write to you. Thatís when I saw your letter...folded up neatly and sticking out of my notebook. So, no, you didnít hide it very well. Though I do wish I had found it when I was unpacking, because I would have been alone when I found it. But on the plane, Donnie kept trying to read over my shoulder and grab the letter from me. Heís such a pain! Mom finally made him stop and he fell asleep. Dork. So now that heís sleeping, and Mom and Daddy are reading their books, I have time to write to you.
Your letter made sense, Will. I understand every word. And I know what you mean about finding the right words. I had the same trouble. I actually tried writing a letter to you before I left. I worked on it for a week. But I had to keep writing it over and over because I wasnít saying what I really wanted to say. Everything I wrote was so stupid. I still have them...I was gonna throw them away, but I changed my mind. Maybe Iíll show them to you one day and we can laugh at how stupid they are.
I miss you too, Will, so much. I started missing you as soon as Daddy told us we were moving. Remember the day I told you? When we sat under the tree? I never told you this...I was late that day because of 2 things. I begged Daddy to let me stay. I asked him to talk to your parents and see if they would let me stay with you. But he kept saying no. We had a fight. Iíve never had a fight with Daddy before. The other thing that made me late was that I was crying so much. I ran to my room and just cried and cried. It took me a while to stop crying and wipe my face clean so my eyes werenít puffy when you saw me. So I understand about the crying too, Willow.
I pretended I wasnít leaving too. I pretended a lot! Even with all of the packing, I just kept pretending that I was going to stay there...with you...forever. I tried to imagine that instead of packing to move away that I was packing to move into a different house that was nearer to where you live. That way I could make believe all sorts of fun things that we would do. I tried to act as if it would all just go away if I didnít think about it. But it didnít go away...and Iím on this plane...moving further and further away from you. I think my heart is breaking too, Will. I donít like the feeling either.
Weíve been flying for over 3 hours now. Donnie is still asleep. I wish I had my camera with me. Heís drooling. It would be fun to show a picture of him sleeping with his mouth all wide open and drooling to the girls he dates. Serves him right for being such a dork. Daddy fell asleep too. But Mom is still reading. She came over to me a little while ago to see what I was doing. I told her that Iím writing to you and that I already miss you so much. Mom smiled at me, but she looked a little sad...like there is something sheís remembering that makes her feel bad...or like sheís thinking about something she lost. It was weird. When I asked her if she was okay she just kissed me on top of the head and said continue with writing my letter. Then she went back to her seat. Iím not really sure what that was all about.
We start high school in a few weeks. Oh! I was so upset, Will. Donnie told me that the 9th graders are still at the junior high out there! So on top of me being upset that you and I canít go to high school together, Iím gonna have to spend another year in junior high! Luckily Daddy told me that Donnie was just teasing me. It used to be that way, but they changed it a few years ago. So I am going to the high school. Daddy smacked Donnie on the back of his head but Donnie still stuck his tongue out at me. I couldnít stop laughing.
Remember how we talked about going to high school together? I was really looking forward to taking classes together and stuff. But now Iím so scared. Iím not sure Iíll know how to make friends without you, Willow. Youíve always been the outgoing one. Iím too shy. I mean, you were the one to stick up to Cordelia! I never could. Donít let her bug you this year, Will. Okay? Promise?
Ahh! Iím going to be starting at a brand new school in a brand new country. Now Iím really scared! Iíve never gone to school with other military kids before...Michael doesnít count cuz his family lives off the base too. And on top of it all, Iím going to be "the new kid." Donnie will be the only other person there I know...and heís going to be a senior. Heíll probably pretend that he doesnít even know me. That would be so like him.
Iíve already talked to Mom and Daddy about finding me a math tutor. I donít know if it will help though. Youíre the only one who has ever been able to explain math to me so that I can understand it. What am I going to do without you? * sigh * Iíll probably fail...or get a D. The only classes Iím not worried about are Art and English...oh...and history. I guess Iíll just spend all my time studying...and missing you.
Iíve already said it so many times, but I really am going to miss you too, Willow. I do right now...miss you. And Iím going to miss you every second of every day, too. Just like we said that day under our tree. Will you still go to our tree? Will you take someone else there? Will you build little villages out of rocks and sticks like you used to do for me...so that I could draw them? I want to be under our tree right now instead of on this plane. I want to be anywhere you are right now.
I feel like Iím going to cry, Will. So Iím going to finish up this letter. Cuz I know Donnie will wake up if I start crying...and heíll just tease me...and Mom might get sad again. Iíll cry when I get to my own room and can close the door.
Iíve decided that Iím going to keep a diary...I will write in it every day until I see you again. That way I can show it to you and you can read about what I did every day. Will you do that too, Willow? Then when we are back under our tree we can read each otherís diaries...and it will be as if we didnít miss out on stuff because we were apart. Will you do that, Will? For me?
I will write to you again as soon as I can. Iíll tell you about our new house and my new school. Be sure to let me know what school is like for you too, okay? Iíll think about you all the time.
Oh...you wanted to know what I was dreaming last night. I wasnít dreaming, Will. Actually, I wasnít even asleep. I heard you get up and go to the bathroom. I thought you would be right back so I waited. I did fall asleep again for a few minutes, but then I knew you were back. I didnít hear you come in or anything, I just sort of felt you...and I just knew you were there. I kept my eyes closed though. I was going to wait until you got into your sleeping bag and then tickle you. But you didnít go back to bed...you just sat down and watched me. I guess I was smiling because I liked you looking at me like that. When you left, I knew you were crying...and I cried too. I did hear you come back the second time and get in your sleeping bag and I stayed awake until I knew you were sleeping. You have this cute little snore...thatís how I knew you werenít awake anymore. I couldnít fall back asleep so I watched you for a little while. Youíre so peaceful when you sleep, Will. Iím not sure if you know this or not, but...you reached out and grabbed my hand in your sleep. You held it next to your cheek. I was able to sleep again.
Write to me soon.