Tara squeezed the numerous variations of green acrylics onto her palette. It was only 15 minutes into the course and already her mind was somewhere else. Physically, she was demonstrating what she'd coined as the "happy little stipple technique" for painting trees, specifically conifers. A pretty boring demonstration on any other day, but today it was just the thing.
Her back was to the students which made it all too easy for her mind to drift around. She was meeting Willow tonight and needed time to sort a few things out. Last night really threw her for a loop and she'd spent the remainder of the day in a state of denial. Her feelings for Willow were strong. In fact, she'd never felt about anyone the way she found herself feeling about Willow. But the break-down last night was peskily forcing her to realize that the things from her past, the things she'd thought she had put well behind her might not be as long gone as she'd considered them to be.
There was something blocking her from letting herself go completely. She wanted to make love with Willow it wasn't that. In the beginning she'd called herself taking things slow, but now it was beginning to move from going slow into snail paced. Heck, the snails were passing her on either side.
It wasn't that she didn't desire willow either. She did, very much, but whenever they started to take their relationship to the next level she just became petrified. <There must be something horribly wrong with me< Tara thought to herself. >Willow is beautiful and smart... and she makes me feel so special. Why do I have to be so self involved?>
Tara felt like Freud as her mind refused to stop psycho-analyzing everything. Maybe that was her problem. <There's something to be said for living in the moment. I should give it a try sometime...>
Tara frowned as there was a disturbance behind her. For a moment she'd forgotten just exactly where she was and felt slightly irritated at the interruption to her flow of thought. Then her location came back to her. Realizing where she was, she turned around to face the class. Tony, the only male student, had his hand in the air and an confused expression on his face. "Yes?" Tara inquired. Tony lowered his hand and, using his paintbrush he pointed to the canvas she'd been working on in the front of the room.
"Um... miss Maclay? How many of those trees are we supposed to paint?"
"Huh? Tara was confused until she followed his inquiry and looked at her own canvas. Where she had intended one, maybe two trees now stood a forest of the prickly stippled conifers. "Oh!" Tara blushed, she was really losing it. "G-go ahead and s-stop where you are, and work on one of your other canvases for the rest of the hour." Tara turned away from the students and regarded the forest of wet stipples covering the surface. <There's definitely something wrong with me> Tara tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and looked up at the clock on the wall in the back of the room.
There was a bustle of commotion as the women <and Tony> Tara reminded herself, got their canvases from the back of the room.
The rest of the hour went by in relative quite. Everyone had an individual project to work on, and they were pretty far into the class so everyone was pretty well versed on what they should be doing. Tara circled the room a couple times, offering ideas and suggestions but for the most part she stood against the far wall and tried to look busy.
Willow hung back, admiring Tara from a distance. the blonde was up against the far wall and seemed to be completely immersed in a painting she was working on. A smile spread across Willow's lips. The blonde had yet to notice her presence in the doorway. which wasn't odd because they were supposed to be meeting at Willow's house after class, but fortunately Willow hadn't been able to suppress the urge to surprise the blonde. She decided her lack of Patience was fortunate because if she hadn't come tonight she wouldn't have gotten to look at the blonde in the way that she currently was... without being noticed.
Tara had on a pair of jeans and a turtleneck sweater. Her hair was tied up in a pony tail. <She looks delicious> Willow thought. Because the blonde's hair was up Willow was getting an intoxicating view of the blonde's creamy neck. Well, the part right underneath her ear anyway, the turtleneck did a pretty thorough job of obscuring any real neck Willow might've caught a glimpse of otherwise. Willow had seen Tara's neck completely disrobed plenty of times, so she didn't have to use her imagination to wonder what silky offering might be underneath its woolly covering.
Finally the students began to gather their things. from time spent in various classrooms throughout life she'd learned to recognize this bit of activity as the national symbol that class was about to be dismissed. Willow leaned against the doorway for a moment longer before she entered the room. The women... and Tony, brushed past her on their way to more important destinations. But they were fools because they couldn't see that the most beautiful destination in life was standing against the far wall of this very room. Willow was glad that they were not privy to this information though, because she didn't like crowds so much... she preferred her interactions... one on one...
"For you my lady..." Willow said. Stopping in front of Tara, she handed her the rose. Willow found herself completely taken when Tara brought the offered flower to her nose and smelled it delicately.
"Willow... you didn't have to come all the way out here... I would have-"
"I wanted to..." Willow said, quieting any protest the blonde might have had. <She has no idea how special to me she is. I'll just have to see what I can do to remedy that> Willow hoped that tonight would be the night that she would find the courage to tell Tara how she really felt.